two for tuesday

On TV
Last night was season premiere night for HIMYM and BBT. If you aren’t watching these shows? WHY NOT? I know that LOL is an overused phrase in our internet speaking society but I actually did laugh out loud, last night, during Big Bang Theory; I laughed so hard, it was a guffaw.

Some quotes for you

“In the world of emoticons, I was colon capital D.”

“Now he’s colon capital O”

As you have a lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?”

“Use your inside “wooooo””

“Yeah, I have a whip guy”

“Well that and the fact that elaborate lies really turn us on”

On health and hospitals
All of my bloodwork and the ultrasound have come back normal. I am still in pain, no matter what I eat. I called both gastroenterologists that were referred to me by my GP and the first one can’t see me until next Tuesday, the second can’t see me until NOVEMBER 18th!! WHAT THE HELL? Really? I mean I understand that my OB/GYN is hard to get in to see because he’s off delivering babies and all but the gut doctor is that booked? Jeebus. I watched Dr. Oz yesterday where he talked about diet for IBS peeps and pro-biotic straws but at this point, I have no idea what I actually have or what might even help. It could be celiac, it could be IBS, it could be an ulcer or something altogether different. I do know that the anti-spasmodics and acid reducer aren’t doing much of anything.

Saturday, we got an urgent call from Willy’s mother re: his grandmother so we hightailed it to Pasadena to visit her in the ICU. I can’t adequately express how frail and scared she looked in that hospital bed panting for air. I also really don’t have words to express how either of us felt upon hearing her say she just wanted to go ahead and die already and get it over with. *sigh* She was in extreme tachy, her lungs were filled with fluid and she was fighting the mask that they had to put on her to breathe. The respiratory therapist had trouble hitting an artery so I held her hand and talked her through the next two attempts before they got enough blood to check her blood gas. I daubed her sweat covered brow and tried to get her to keep her eyes open and focus. We got her pulse out of danger range a total of 3 times while we were there and talked with the therapist about the fluid in her lungs and what the BiPAP machine was doing for that other than just annoying the piss out of her. See, the mask is this huge contraption that has to be tightly sealed to ones face and forces air into your lungs, so wearing it is much like being in a giant wind tunnel constantly. In other words, it sucks. She’s also hard of hearing so you have to look her straight in the face, or close to her ear and speak loudly or she doesn’t understand what is going on; I don’t think everyone gets that.

Yesterday morning, we got a call that said the oncologist has given up the fight and that her tumor has grown, no more chemo, choose between hospice at home or treating the pneumonia and releasing. Then yesterday evening we got a correction he isn’t giving up but he wants them to know that given the type of her cancer, he is eventually going to lose the battle. I wish people would FREAKING PAY ATTENTION. That is a HUGE DIFFERENCE. GAH. I want to make them carry a tape recorder to their meetings with the doctor so I can hear what is actually said and not what gets interpreted or misconstrued, when people are too busy talking over each other to actually listen. I feel like I should just be there every day to be a better advocate for Maw-maw. I know that whenever Willy and I are there, we hear things they don’t. I may lose my cool in a vet hospital buy I have some kind of weird crisis mode for human patients that kicks in every time thanks to all of Sprog’s hospital stays as a youngin.

Fortunately she seems to be stable now and her wanting to die is forgotten. Willy and I were the only two people in the room when she said it, so we haven’t shared that information with the rest of the family, they don’t need to know, to hear it. She has told her doctor she wants to keep fighting, so we will just will her the strength to go on as long as she wants to and for everyone else to hold her up while she does it.

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