how not to be a southern gentleman

Scene: Costco around 12:30 in the afternoon, my friend D and I have just pulled into the parking lot and came upon a person getting ready to back out of their parking space. SWEET! This almost never happens close to the door with no land-sharking. So we settle in on our side of the lane to wait for the spot. Suddenly there is another car on the left hand side, coming towards us, but we have already got our blinker on for the spot AND they have the handicap placard, so I figure we’re golden, they stop anyway. UM WHAT? So D motions to them that she is waiting for the spot and to go around. The handicap spots are easily accessible behind us. They refuse to move, so the car we are waiting on also can’t move. D looks behind her and measures the distance to ALL the handicap spots and readjusts her car so the car can more easily get by (seriously, there was NO REASON to do this but she did it anyway). They finally start slowly inching forward and suddenly the man who had been loading his truck, during all this, jumps in and backs out, honking his horn the whole way.

THEN he pulls up next to our car and SCREAMS at us. I don’t register what he says at first because I’m so shocked that he’s screaming but then he says, “Maybe you’d be better off just taking a farther away parking space because I’m sure you need the exercise you fat ass fucking bitch!” Meanwhile, a family is walking next to our car and D responds back to him, “In front of children? Really?” He tears out of there and it’s all over. Really? This is how people behave?

As we walk to the door (shaken up I might add) I happen to look over at the gas pumps and see his 9 month pregnant self pumping gas. Interesting how he used that put down when he is bigger than both of us AND was parked in essentially the same spot we were taking, just across the way.

I’m still in awe by the ridiculousness of it all.

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