the ants go marching 2×2 hurrah

We here in the lovely arm pit of Texas, aka Houston, are enjoying our second week of torrential downpours, tornado watches, severe thunderstorms and flooding. Earlier this evening we were without power for nearly an hour while the storm beat us around and we watched the water level rise once again in our back and front yards and I know a certain anxiety ridden black lab golden retriever mix that isn’t going to make the cut for the whole 2 dogs on the arc thing. You may think me cruel but she’d try to dig her way right through the wood of the ship or pull some dog overboard shit and I am not going in after her stupid ass; it’s called realism.

Okay. Okay. It might also be a skosh of anger at her little show earlier this evening and consequent getting of me completely soaked by ice cold rains while my feet were ankle deep in what was surely shit water, being that the yard has not been recently cleared of their excrement. See, she started freaking out above and beyond her chicken little act that there was a storm going on, scratching at Sprog’s couch, trying to get into the tub, scratching at the storm door and even willingly going into the kitchen by herself which never happens. After asking if she needed to potty and her emphatic body language in the positive, I let her out into the storm and then she went all crazy mental and froze. So after getting an umbrella (WHY MUST THEY ALWAYS BE IN THE CAR?) I went out with her thinking that would help her go and instead she just walked me around the yard till she could dart for the other door. The rains, meanwhile, are somehow coming from the ground at this point and the umbrella is about pointless. My shoes (flip flops) are acting as suction cups and sticking into the ground or coming off entirely but really doing little else as the water is well over my ankles and the damn dog will not come back to me so we can get into the other door, the one with a tile entry and towels for drying off.

After two attempts, she was successfully captured, thanks to the boys (DRY IN THE HOUSE, MIND) closing the blinds so she would figure out that wasn’t her entrance and me huddling over her while holding the huge umbrella sideways and letting it just funnel the rain down the crack of my ass.

It’s 1:18 now and I am awake. It’s still raining, lightning, thundering. The scaredy cats are asleep in the bedroom after their barks of alarm made it clear that there was no way they were going to sleep in the kitchen with the big bad thunder out there waiting to get them. The husband is also asleep, soundly, so much so that he was snoring earlier. I on the other hand am frustrated, hurting (thanks for the migraine weather gods) and desperately wishing I had some Advil PM. BLEAH.

I guess I’ll get to a weekend wrap up on Wednesday if I don’t find something else to bitch about before then, haha.

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