what it means to “look like” a mother

I promise to post about my birthday tomorrow. In fact, I’ll go ahead and write it today and schedule it for tomorrow just to ensure that it gets posted but I wanted to post about this while I was thinking about it. Monday Sprog was off of school and couldn’t find any of his friends to go to the mall with, much to his annoyance, so he had to be content with running me around on my errands. One of my errands was a search (in vain) for some Kate Spade jewelry at TJ Maxx or Marshall’s after seeing R’s score on twitter.

At Marshall’s he spotted a girl he knew and proceeded to text her about them both being shopping with their moms…and she was shocked as per usual. She was under the impression that I was his sister. This weekend I turned 37.

I took this picture


and then later this one of my outfit

Birthday outfit

by means of comparison I’d like to show you my biological mother and me in our horrible glamor shots (one of the last pictures I have of us together, actually)

Hubcaps for Earrings
I’m 19 in this picture and my mother is 46 so a 9 year difference in age between her then and me now. (this was the same year I got pregnant with Sprog HOLY CRAP)

I’m sure a lot can and will change about my appearance in 9 years but I’m hoping that not so much will change, honestly. I’m investing in a lot of high dollar sunscreens and fancy face creams so that not a lot will change, honestly. I eat a vegetarian diet and I take a multi vitamin. I don’t smoke and I don’t spend a lot of time in the sun. I hardly drink but I do drink a lot of water.

The thing is, I also worry about it. I worry about it being wrong that I do look like I could be my child’s sister instead of it being obvious that I am his mother. I worry about it being uncomfortable for him that when we go out to eat now, we ALWAYS get asked if the checks are separate, like we are friends or siblings instead of parent and child. He laughs about it every time and he says it doesn’t bother him but my mother dressed like a teenager even though she totally wasn’t and it DROVE ME NUTS, so I worry. My mother shopped in the juniors section well into the time that I stopped talking to her which was into her 50’s and when she was also a grandmother, fyi. My mother showed up at my school in her tennis skirts and bloomers because “I have good legs, why not show them?” and OMG, no.

I’m sure that it’s different for girls but I worry that it’s not really that different, that even though he says it’s funny and he says he’s okay with it, he’s just doing that because he’s generally the kid that tries to please. I have no idea how to “dress like a mom” but I usually buy longer skirts and dresses that aren’t skin tight. I also know that he gives me crap because all of my skirts are long. He says they are so long they should be called dresses not skirts and of course my husband would prefer that I show some skin from time to time and so against the judgement of Stacey and Clinton I bought a mini-ish skirt with my Christmas money…the trick is getting me to actually wear it.

7 Responses to “what it means to “look like” a mother”