for the love of the pool

When you talk to anyone that has ever had a pool or known anyone who has had a pool, the first thing you hear about it how AWFUL the maintenance is. So awful, in fact, a large majority of them would never own a pool again because it’s that much of a pain in the ass.

Now, our pool is a fairly good size and it’s directly beneath about like 5 trees, two of which are Crepe Myrtles with their ridiculous feathery flowers. Which means the amount of crap that ends up in the pool is not small and that it pretty much has to be skimmed every day. I don’t mind that AT ALL. I do all the skimming while in the pool, so I keep cool the whole time and I get a little bit of exercise plodding all over the place cleaning it up. We have a fancy sand filter which runs on a timer so I just check to make sure it comes on when it’s supposed to and that nothing is trapped in the skimmer, no big deal. The skimmer holds the chlorine tablets so the chemical bit is largely handled by the filter. All of these things are seriously not bothersome to me in the least.

I have been trying to swim laps every day (doesn’t always happen) as my form of exercise since it’s the only exercise that doesn’t make me want to immediately croak right now, so all of those above things are going to be handled when I’m out there anyway.

Again, NO BIG.

Unfortunately, there is A BIG and it’s the back-flushing of the sand filter. We had to do it this weekend and OMFG, that sucked so severely. First, the back-flush hose is only 50 ft long. We followed our installation instructions exactly and put the freaking filter on the far side of the pool, which means that the 50 ft of hose is only just barely enough to reach to the main drain, IF it goes up and over the top of the damn pool. Second, the hose is made from some flexible material and is FLOPPY. Third, it takes a shit pot of water to properly flush out the filter. Combine those three things and you get me desperately fighting against a too-short, floppy hose, while it sprays chlorinated water in my face (and everywhere else) as I am trying to get it aimed where it needs to be AND HOLD IT THERE. Meanwhile, our already low pool is getting lower by the second and oh hey, did it occur to no one that ADDING WATER might be a good freaking idea? I can tell you it didn’t. At the time that the water level got below the skimmer, I was the one watching the filter and Wills was manning the hose (snerk) so I turned it off as fast as I could but it wasn’t fast enough to prevent water from getting into the first chamber of the filter pump, which meant that Wills had to go Google how to resolve that issue while I held the hose in the air and sweat through my clothes; which I continued to do while he came back out and resolved the issue, until it was time to fight the hose again (snerk) and continue with the process. IT TAKES FOREVER to get all the sand clear from this little observation window thing that you have to watch the whole time, so we opted to get as much out as possible and MOVE THE FUCK ON ALREADY, instead of getting it totally cleared.

After that? Rinse cycle! Thankfully the rinse cycle is only a minute long and then you get to re-attach everything, figure out how to get all the residual water OUT of the HUGE FLOPPY HOSE and turn the filter on again to ensure everything works.

Supposedly we are going to have to do this again at the end of August. Sprog and Wills will be handling the next go round.

Oh and only somewhat related but our neighbors also have a backyard pool. For the majority of the time we have had ours, no one has been in theirs, I honestly thought that they had let it get algae or whatever. Anyway, Wills and I were finally enjoying a nice leisurely night swim the other night and had the radio on when the neighbor kids came out and started blasting the stupid local pop station. Seriously? If I come outside and someone else already has their music on? I am NOT GOING TO TURN MINE ON. Wills and I both are of the “you were here first, I’m not going to disturb you” mentality but it seems like no one else is, so rude! We totally left OUR pool because we were so annoyed by THEIR pool. UGH.

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