thursday night tv makes me ranty

“Real” Housewives of Orange County-
Lynne, your daughters are horribly spoiled, self-centered bitches and you and your husband are responsible for that. Gretchen in all her misguidedness attempted to help and you AND YOUR DAUGHTER both threw her under the damn bus for it and now? Your daughter is escalating in her behavior and throwing tantrums in the mall over something she wants that you won’t give to her, but Gretchen was wrong? WHAT? It’s sure a good thing that you got your other daughter that nose job so she could take her art seriously…because we all know that artists need to have cute noses to be good at their art. *eyeroll* Oh and also, who the hell has a house warming party complete with staff the night before they get served with eviction papers? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?

Gretchen, I love you hon, but seriously? You expected to get financial advice from Vicki without her asking ANY financial questions? Without her asking ANY personal questions? Get real sweets, that is not how the world works. If you want to talk business and finance, those sorts of people are going to want to know where the hell the money is coming from. It’s commonplace! Also, the word beauté makes me think of Jackée from 227 and that is anything but classy. Also, I appreciate the advice that you are trying to give Lynne about her brats, because it’s true, but your boyfriend should be being a father to his kids before you try and give advice to anyone else, you know? Maybe then people might be able to take you more seriously.

Tamra, 1) HAHAHAHAHA way to go getting that tattoo on your finger, was that your way of speeding along the impending divorce? I also loved how you asked on camera about cheating. 2) Is there anyone you WON’T throw under a bus? I can’t believe the speed at which you turned on Vicki last night! That was pretty damn impressive. Also, I love how you agreed with Gretchen when she was trying to talk some damn sense into Lynne because you know she’s right and you have been there with Ryan but because your hate for her is so much more important than trying to help Lynne with her girls? You kept your mouth shut and saved it for the confessional. Also, could you and Simon do anything real? How many times did you two look directly to camera during your little come to jesus meeting? SERIOUSLY? UGH. You both make me ill.

Alexis, Question, if divorce is not an option, how have you and your husband both been married before? In addition, you do not have a job. You have three young kids yes, BUT YOU ALSO HAVE NANNIES. Jesus. How is it taxing on you, when you have constant help? Oh right because you have to work out hours a day and go to the salon constantly in order to keep that hot hunk of man that you landed at the pool of the Marriott in Palm Springs. I know that must be grueling work for you. Most of the rest of the SAHM’s would be fainting if a Nanny appeared at their doorstep and wouldn’t be considering days of working out and tanning “work”, fyi.

Vicki, Yes, we get it, you work. Kudos to you. I mean that sincerely. You and Don bust your asses. Your house isn’t in short sale (WTG Tamra) and you aren’t being evicted (WTG Lynne) and you and Don seem to be getting along much better this year but you are going to work yourself into an early grave if you don’t take a break once in a while. I think you need to get back to your Havasu friends and kick back every once in a while. Learn to breathe woman, take it down a few hundred notches. Don? Way to stand up to Vicki! I like you more and more each season!

Project Runway-
Oh My God. I have no idea how the judges liked that star dress thing that Mila did. I totally agree with another contestant that it looked like a flag, or even moreso, like something made from a boat sail. ICK. Jesus totally needed to go home with that trashy 80’s homage he did! Rhinestone straps? Such a tacky joke! Anne made her lady look like a linebacker. That was totally heinous. I loved the idea of tracing the Campbell’s logo on the chiffon but you couldn’t see it at all on the runway, was it on the belt? Janine is this season’s Johnny. STOP WHINING.

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