Belize vacation posts: shopping

I am a person that is definitely pro pre vacation shopping, especially in the case of a beach vacation. I mean these pictures are FOREVER, if your camera doesn’t delete them or if you actually stop having fun for long enough to take pictures, that is. From year to year I never have any idea what is still wearable and will usually need at least a bathing suit or a pair of shorts but most definitely will need sunscreen, ALL the sunscreen and/or a big hat.

The funny thing is as much as my size might vacillate through the years, it turned out that one of the bikini tops I wore on this vacation? I wore on the trip Willy and I took to Key West for our 1st anniversary 8 years ago. I also wore a pair of shorts from our summer vacation for Sprog’s 14th birthday almost 5 years ago. So while this may seem like a lot of shopping, it’s also really just for clothes to last me the summer and beyond obvs, way beyond.

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Matty M Ladies Crinkle Skirt from Costco. Yep. This thing is amazing. It’s light as can be, totally comfy and is packable like crazy. You are SUPPOSED to wrinkle it. Wad that bad boy up and toss it in a bag. I wore it on the plane there and home and best choice ever. I am also going to get either the black or blue one as well.

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This is my bikini wardrobe for this trip/summer. Some of it I had, some of it I purchased new.

Land’s End Women’s Dot Bikini Bottom in bright dandelion

Land’s End Medallion Triangle Bikini Top

Ella Moss Cabana Stripe Halter in black I love this top the VERY MOST EVER
I feel like a total bad ass when I wear it and I don’t care if you aren’t supposed to feel like a bad ass in a swim suit, I do.

The other two bottoms I just snagged at Target, one black and one red with crochet overlining but their website sucks balls, so I’m not linking. If you need plain bottoms, go there buy cheaply but know that the quality is OBVIOUSLY different. I am much more comfy in my pricier “real” suit pieces than the cheapies from Target. Also in the case of the Land’s End stuff? SIZE DOWN.

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We bought these watershoes at Costco but they are no longer avail online. They are made by Speedo but aren’t avail on their site either, I guess maybe check in your local Costco store if you are interested in them. They are very light but with rugged tread. We bought them for a planned ruins/cave tubbing excursion that we never got to take due to coming home a day early.

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This is a two part photo. 1) an underwater camera which I thought I was going to give rave reviews and then it reformatted the memory card during our snorkel trip mid stream and so we are sending the sucker BACK TO AMAZON and 2) a camera float which I already loved because we had awesome customer service from the get and then it actually saved the cursed underwater camera so yeah, love the float, not so much the camera.

Nordic Flash underwater camera float qty 2

Lumix TS5
We went round and round on what underwater camera to buy finally settling between this and the Olympus TG2 but the TG2 is actually discontinued because a newer model is coming out in June so we went with this one. We “lost” all of our photos on Monday due to a defective memory card. Friday the camera had a “write error” then reformatted itself and overwrote with new photos. This is after I had started taking the new card out every day and downloading the images to my ipad, after we soaked it and left it to air dry as instructed in the manual any time it was in water…and any time I opened the door to the card and battery I saw not just moisture around the gasket but big water drops. In addition one of my bigger concerns with this camera was ability to take photos in dark conditions because the TG2 has a better aperture and sure enough we had an overcast choppy day on our snorkel trip so a lot of the photos didn’t come out as good as they should have. That said, you will be seeing photos from this camera in the coming days because my excellent husband was able to recover the data off both cards.

Pacifica UPF Shirt I wore as a rashguard while snorkeling. It kept me cool in the sun on the sailboat, it kept me from being burned while snorkeling and when we got into the deeper waters in Hol Chan, I didn’t get cold either. Two thumbs up. I will be buying more.

Things with no photo
Sanuk Yoga Mat Flip Flops in gray (from Costo, of course) I lived in these things. SO COMFY. Will be buying aqua today.

Goddess Garden Reef Safe Sunscreen (we got the sunny body but it’s the same thing) this stuff is REALLY difficult to put on, leaves a whitish sheen to your skin and doesn’t wash off easily but it doesn’t come off in the ocean and I felt reasonably secure I wasn’t damaging the reef because of that so I’ll definitely use it in the ocean again but I’m still looking for a healthy general summer sunscreen for us.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios SPF 50 Mineral Tinted Sunscreen I wore this everyday of our vacation. It’s also reef safe (because it doesn’t have the big 4 chemicals) and it’s water resistant. It didn’t break me out which shocked the shit out of me, EVERYTHING breaks me out (except Josie Maran) and I love it so much I am going to just keep right on wearing it.

Birkenstock Kairo Flor T-Strap Black Patent Natalie has these and I fell in love when I saw them. I wore them on the plane and when riding the beach bike about a mile to the resort up the way for lunch one afternoon.

I also bought some misc summer tops from Old Navy and Gap but they were all on clearance and I’m not going to dig through that mess to find them. I will say that I bought a pair of white Diva cut offs from Old Navy and had to return them because of unfortunate tenting in the zipper region so I’d not recommend those, if you are looking for white cut offs.

Also, I grabbed a pair of gray linen blend shorts from Target by Converse. Again, not going to link because their website is the suckass but they are super cute and comfy and I wore them more than once on the trip.

wanting wednesdays

This entire summer has been a huge amount of lame, so far. It’s been inordinately hot, we didn’t go out of town in June like we normally do, we haven’t gone anywhere else, I spent three solid weeks with a headache, the house is still undone (molding for the floors), the husband is still going through job security/transition stress with the merger, etc. You can imagine tempers might be getting a tad short around here. I also haven’t been able to make ANYTHING for the shop…or even photograph projects that I did a bit ago and are sitting. See, I have this idea that whatever energy I put into something remains…some sort of residual imprint of me and I don’t want the energy a person gets from something I created to be bad or negative. I want people to only experience a smile when they wear something I made. Maybe that’s silly, but it’s what I believe so I try to practice it.

Anyway, all of that culminated in us not being able to go out of town for the fourth with our problem child (Mayday of course) having an abscess in her side and being on medications and requiring the wound cleaned and drained. None of which we felt right in leaving to someone else to be responsible for, while we took off to see my cousins in Austin again so we stayed home. Willy was really bummed about our lameness for not going anywhere or doing anything (not even going to gigs that were going on over the weekend) and that lead to us buying a pool.

We’ve been hemming and hawing about it anyway but didn’t want to spend more money (hello expensive floors, dental bills, medical bills and vet visits) and yet couldn’t bring ourselves to go to the community pool with all the kid pee and the whistle blowing and noise, a definite stalemate situation. Finding a pool that was a crazy good deal, not made for little people and having a 0% interest offer nudged us closer. Realizing that we could actually SWIM LAPS in our own backyard and that it was the ONLY ONE THEY HAD, pushed us right over the edge.

It was a lot of freaking work for two people (one of whom is allergic to latex) to put together a 10’x20’x52″ pool and it took the better part of two days before we could actually swim in it but oh so much love for this

on the 4th of July.

I swam laps yesterday and intend on swimming again today. My mood is improving slowly but surely and it’s so nice not to feel like I am going to spontaneously combust all the time.

my cockles are as warm as my arms

My Sprog is an awesome sprog. Friday, after his last final, I picked him up from school and we headed to the mall to do some Christmas shopping for his step-dad. He actually had an idea for him all on his own. (y’all this is rare and immediately supported, encouraged and acted upon) So while we were at the mall, I headed to Hot Topic to pick up some gifts for a friend of mine (and no blue twilight crew it was not ANYTHING twilight or new moon related) and a merchandiser made sure to inform me that all Nightmare Before Christmas items were 50% off.

BALLS! I am not supposed to be shopping for myself. But. There is one hoodie left…that I like…in my size. Hemming and hawing commenced. And then, my Sprog asks, “How much will it be after the discount?” And I answer. And then, “And there is only one left in your size?” And I respond. “I have that much in chore money, buy it, from me.” Doesn’t he just rock?

Y’all. There are moments where I just pause and marvel at the coolness of my own kid. Times when he does things like that or when he has ideas for presents for people on his own. When he gets excited about doing the Christmas lights and decides how they should be done, staying outside in the dark and cold to set it up, or the fact that he has Christmas lights and ornaments hanging from beneath his loft bed at this very moment. When he dances with me in the car while we run errands. When he pops up from the floor, during a movie or show we are watching, to make a face at me or make eye contact with me while he laughs at something. When he knows I am in a bugger mood and he makes the dorkiest faces just to try and make me laugh or when he tries like hell to imitate the evil eye I am famous for and fails miserably.

The fact that my friend had her birthday brunch this weekend and asked that he join because she enjoys his company instead of preferring he be left at home since he’s just a dumb teenager. I love that he’s getting his scrawny little butt back on a skateboard and that he totally gets why I subjected him to Eddie Izzard’s skit about puberty instead of being mortified or not thinking it was funny. We all laugh about his voice cracking and the fact that his horrible hippie of a mother is stunting his growth by keeping him in organic foods and dairy products and how he dreams of genetically altered foods like the rest of his friends.

My kid is the bomb is what I am saying and I wish that y’all could spend some time with him when he’s tossin down his sweet dance moves. There is seriously nothing better, in this world, for a bad mood.

just call me towanda*

Willy, Sprog and I were in the car on the way to find me a new phone (oh hey phone that doesn’t work for four hour blocks at a time for no good reason? not cute) and as we drove down the street I noticed three kids over by the clubhouse. Three kids together is not so unusual…one of them karate kicking the fence in broad daylight on a public street? Kinda unusual. So I did what any hot-blooded Italian woman would do, I had my husband pull the car over and I went after those kids. Imagine the horror the teenager in the back was going through as his mother hopped out of the car and stood with her hands on her hips watching said boys, imagine how it increased as said mother then strode across the grass towards them and confronted them and then imagine the SHAME as one of the kids passed the car and said, “Hi Sprog (obvs not his actual name)” while on his way to go hunt the other boys down and get them to come fess up or face the cops.


Here’s how it went down.

When I was watching them from the car, the immediate guilty looks and freezing of the behavior happened. If I wasn’t so torqued, I would’ve been amused by the predictability of it all. As I headed towards them their little faces registered a mixture of panic and shock and the best the actual offender could come up with to my “What do you think you are doing?” was that there had been a bug on his shoe. Riiiiiigggghhhht.

After I confronted the boys, I went to see if I could leave a note for the office but found instead that it was open (how she didn’t hear them is beyond me) and the lady inside was VERY interested in the goings on outside. She was also saddened to hear I had sent them packing but in my defense, I didn’t think anyone was there. Somehow, kid A (the one that talked to Sprog) thought he was innocent since he wasn’t the one kicking the fence and stayed in the parking lot instead of hightailing it, so he was collared and brought to her. Kids B and C tried to be sneaky and get past me while I was in the office, somehow not paying attention that the man in the car was with me and watched where they went and funny story, the street they were on? Kid A’s street. The lady in the office knew his sister and said she knows how to get to all the boys, if she has to because of their church (ah Sprog see what me being a heathen gets you?) and will get to them either way. She thanked me for stopping when bunches of other people hadn’t AND THERE WAS A MAN RIGHT FREAKING THERE, who also did nothing. I’m sorry but it’s broad daylight, you are on a public street and you are destroying something that doesn’t belong to you; seems like you are just asking someone to come and slap you upside your stupid head.

After I got back in the car I spun around and told that’s how I behaved when the kids weren’t even mine, IMAGINE what it would be like were it him I found behaving that way. He just nodded and said that he understood. He then said that he was worried about what someone was going to say at school about the whole thing and I told him that 1) it was their own damn fault for doing something so stupid (in broad daylight on a public street no less) and 2) I wasn’t even all the way angry, so they had best consider where it could go. He responded saying that he was going to tell them that I had 6in Steel Stilettos and I wasn’t afraid to use them. HAHAHAHA!

I’m not sure when I turned into the neighborhood watch lady…but I’ll be damned if some little shit is going to pull that and have me just drive on by, mortified teenage son or no.

*title edit in honor of Cam’s comment

i couldn’t resist posting this

You already know how I feel about this issue (or can find out by clicking on the Let Freedom Ring link on the right there) and when I saw this on Clever Blog Name Here this morning, I had to join in.

“Fidelity”: Don’t Divorce… from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

I think the world is always a better thing with more love and less hate. You can go here and sign the letter regarding this issue as well as find other information about the campaign.

but apparently grandpa can’t hang

This weekend was fab! Friday night we went to see Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. This movie was love for me. I would totally live that life if I could, the staying out until dawn chasing down a wicked cool band life. I love seeing bands in seedy bars and enjoy any music better if it’s live. I LOVE IT! So I could really relate to that part of the movie, plus the soundtrack was cool (of course) and it made me laugh; all very good things. I would not, however, recommend seeing it at one of those eat as you watch movie places, as we did. There is a whole thing with gum and vomit and it goes on much further in the movie than anyone would intitially expect. I had to stop eating. Regardless of that, I will be buying this movie and I foresee it being one that I watch over and over again. Highly quotable.

Saturday morning it was up early for the breast cancer walk (I still haven’t reached my goal! you can still donate! I am going to keep hounding you!) this year was a lot different than last year, in that it was WICKED PACKED. 30,000 people does not get things started on time. We were going at a snails pace. Last year we were in and out of there in less than one hour…this year I think we were there for well over 2. It was awesome to have so many people come out in support and very cool that we saw some of the same people (and dogs) from last year. Our team is very excited to do it again and is planning to have custom shirts and signs next time. Should be a lot of fun!

After the walk we went to the museum to see the Bodyworlds exhibit with Johnny and Sarah. I was definitely interested in going but I also was afraid that it was going to give me nightmares. Seeing people basically fileted/skinned and then stood back up in sports poses (among other things, hello lady x) certainly sounds like the things of nightmares or horror movies. I spent a lot of time being irritated at the general populace, as I do in any crowd situation. Why the fuck can’t people just follow SIMPLE instructions? DON’T LEAN ON THE CASES! That is not hard! It’s not like these were children. It was adults! I was trying SO HARD not to brain people with my purse or grab them by the ear, that it might have taken some of the sting off of the “creepy” factor, except for the fact that them leaning on the cases MADE THE PARTS MOVE. *shudder* I also learned that men are a lot more apt to donate their bodies to science because wow, that was a lot of penis. The remainder of our time at the museum was spent touring the other exhibit halls, the vault of very expensive shiny rocks with big price tags and being preached at about water conservation under the guise of a “adventure IMAX” about the Grand Canyon. I didn’t mind sitting through it so much, since it meant seeing Az and that is always good, but I would’ve liked a whole lot more white water rafting and a whole lot less preaching. I do DEFINITELY want to take a white water rafting trip in my lifetime and seeing those bits just made me more excited to do it, accompanying it with Dave Matthews music amphlified that. I forget how much I enjoy his stuff.

After an earlyish dinner (can you believe I was hungry after all the bodyparts stuff?) at Chuy’s, we got ready to head to Skyrocket @ The Continental Club. I have been trying to catch this band for a while now but they always seem to come to town on a kid weekend but this time they happened to be in town on a kid free weekend and Rachel was planning on going there for part II of her b-day drunkdown. We surprised her by being there when they arrived and had a great time with them until the barage of jaeger shots she was supplied upon arriving (not by us, I do not buy ANYONE that nasty shit) took her over the edge. I’d say it’s a pretty successful evening in the rockstar world when you get someone out of the bar with no arrests, puking only in a trash can and not on anyone and the only broken glass was also in said trash can! We stayed through the rest of the night because the band is freaking AWESOME. True that they are only a cover band but each musician (and there are 7 of them) is insanely talented, the music they play got everyone on the dance floor and they put on a hell of a good show.

Sunday morning I was woken up way too early by the bastard dogs (on that few hours of sleep with crown and coke in my veins, they are bastards!) and since I seem to lack a nap gene (I did try) never made up that sleep lost. Wills worked on the yard after we got back from breakfast, The Egg and I is back up and running, finally! Dinner was at mom’s last night and we had some Connor behavioral issues. It was still nice not to have to cook after the whirlwind weekend but I could tell that my sis had it with him when we got there. He didn’t get much better through the evening.

I had planned on trying a fellow blogger’s recipe for pulled pork sandwiches today and even got out of bed early this morning to do it but then discovered I was out of chicken stock. *sigh* Another day of lost sleep for me. Apparently all this weekend was too much for the hubs, he’s still in bed, whereas I’m up and peeved that I can’t do anything for fear of waking his lazy ass. Apparently chasing fluffy* is too much for him to bear.

* Nick and Norah reference.

from bad to worse to better

Really the progression of that should be from bad to better to way the hell worse to better again, but that doesn’t really flow very well.

So with all those things, I was really doing much better. I honestly feel better when the house is clean-ish (at least my immediate area, I really need to tackle the closets soon) and I could feel my mood start to lift the moment I accomplished that goal. Unfortunately, I checked the mail and received yet another nasty surprise. My incompetent ENT’s office has once again effed things all to hell. When they screwed up my allergy testing and had to switch it to the blood work, I had a bad feeling about it; I guestioned the chick that handles the pre-qualifications in the office to the point that she got bitchy with me and PROMISED (rather huffily) that it was covered at 100% just as my other test would’ve been. Yeah, not so fucking much Donna. We received a “recent account history” from our insurance letting us know that they weren’t paying for it and to expect a $651 bill for it shortly. $651 dollars to be told that I am allergic to Houston (I already knew this) and basically they can’t really treat me for it unless I want to pay $200 out of pocket every 3 months for a moderately successful experimental treatment that I would have to do for the next 5-10 years. *cue me losing my shit here*

So. Wills has contacted his liaison with the insurance company to see if there is anything he can do (doubtful) and when we actually receive the bill from the lab, I’ll be calling the ENT’s office to chew their shit/let them know that I will never be back there again. Obviously my faith is completely destroyed, as it was barely hanging on in the first place and there is no way I am trusting them on any “experimental treatments” or a second surgery. Willy would like me to go to another ENT and not give up entirely, but at this point; I’m over it. I have dental issues that really need to be taken care of (and $651 to this lab is going to put that off yet again) as well as glasses and contacts that are past due as of March of this year. Priorities.

Around 5pm, as I was fully wallowing in the pissed off and the feeling sorry for myself of this latest development, there was a knock at the door and I thought the guy was at the wrong house. It was a floral delivery person, but lo, he was looking for me. Seems some good husband sent his wife flowers yesterday. Awww!

the antidote of l*o*v*e

So I did the love list and I feel there needs to be the counterpoint. Thunderously Awesome was the trailblazer and did his first and this morning I was debating a blog about fear or this one and as I woke up in the land of sinus, obviously HATE is the one that won out.

So yeah most people say that hate is wrong and we shouldn’t use that word. That you should run around full of sweetness and light and all free love and hippie spirit without the b.o. and dirt-if you feel that way, this is not the blog for you. I’ll try not to launch into a full blog about the many ways I hate specific people or anything… but no promises.

I hate the Pam cooking spray commercial where they spray it into the cooking water for spaghetti. NO! You don’t put that shit into pasta water, then the sauce can’t properly grab the pasta and you have watery noodles. What the hell? I hate commercials that make you realize you could do a better job and those people make a hell of a lot more money than you do. I hate earworms and songs that you can’t stand being in your brain for days on end.

I hate Daylight Saving Time. It’s not one hour on a weekend. It’s weeks of my body trying to get re-adjusted on feeding and sleeping schedules. My internal clock is HIGHLY regimented, adjusting it is a huge pain in the ass. Bonus, I am from Arizona, where the clocks never change.

I hate the smell of meat that has gone bad and when you didn’t realize it was bad until you pulled it in the middle of preparing a meal. I hate food poisoning. I hate being allergic to shellfish and being married to someone who LOVES the stuff. Not because I have any desire to eat it (lobster is a BUG people) but because I have almost been killed 3 times already in the course of our marriage.

I hate Bobby Flay’s smug ass attitude and his show Throwdown. For the love of god, you can’t just let people be good at something? You have to show them up on national tv? You asshole.

I hate neglectful parents and people that use their craptastic childhoods as a crutch to perpetuate craptastic childhoods for their own children. I hate being in spaces where the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. I hate family drama. I hate that people have a hard time understanding the difference between family and relatives and look at you like you are insane when you see a very clear line.

I hate seeing the perfect shoe and it not being in my size. See also perfect dress, pants and jeans.

I hate seeing people or animals suffer.

I hate wet socks.

I hate cleaning up vomit. I will clean up most other things but vomit. Eww.

I hate nightmares.

I hate it when you have verbal diarrhea and can’t stop yourself.

I hate people that have no concept of right and wrong, no concept of personal space, no concept of YOU DON’T STEAL PEOPLE’S SHIT, YOU DON’T RAPE PEOPLE, YOU DON’T RAPE CHILDREN. GAH STABBY HATE!

I hate that people like Paris Hilton and Kim K. are famous for being famous. I hate that teachers are overworked and underpaid and our school systems are shite. Oh and speaking of, have I mentioned my hate for selfish and self-absorbed? Yeah.

I hate road rage and stupid drivers. We are all trying to go someplace. Driving like a fucktard, isn’t helping ANYONE.

Coughing without covering your mouth. Sweet jesus. I don’t want MORE of your fucking germs on me. We learned this shit in KINDERGARTEN. People with no manners? Yeah. Hate!

Women that act like morons so that men will like them better… or women will find them less threatening. That is a self-fulfilling prophecy, pretending to be a moron MAKES you a moron. HATE.

I hate migraines.

I hate sensationalist news.

Tom Cruise.

i’m the approachable type

Last night was the democratic primary here in Texas. It was also the “texas two-step” in that we caucus for the other 1/3 of our vote. I already voted last week but I also showed up last night to caucus. My precinct was a giant ass clusterfuck. There is no way to put it nicely. At 7pm the line to vote was still all the way out the door. Inside the first set of doors it snaked all the way round and then I was sent through a second set of doors to the school cafeteria where we were all being housed. They had 4 precincts in there but mine is my far the largest of the bunch and apparently made up of people that all waited until yesterday to vote.

I brought the sprog with me thinking it was important for him to see democracy in action. Now he has seen improper planning in action. He may never vote in his lifetime. He got to hear the bitchy people next to us complain because people were handing out stickers. Obviously, they were not Obama supporters. He got to listen to the life story of the lady who sat down on the other side of me, who then listened to my phone conversation with Wills and proceeded to question me on my parenting style. No joke.

aside: Wills was doing his caucus in his precinct. He never changed his voter’s registration from his old apt, so his precinct is down in midtown. Wills was done 2 hours before me. 

By 9:30 I still hadn’t even been signed in. People were still FUCKING VOTING. I had frantically gotten ahold of June and had the sprog picked up, as he has TAKS today and needed sleep. Oh I should mention neither of us had eaten dinner at this point because he not only came home late from playing but brought a friend with, who I definitely was not going to feed. Our precinct captain hadn’t shown up so we had to take volunteers and I went for it; I figured with how shoddy this whole thing was being done, at the very least I would be fast enough to get things moving. This pushy ass woman was campaigning by the time I got to the front and had the votes of her friends…we opted to draw names out of a hat instead. Ha! She turned to me in hushed tones and said, “These Obama people are trying to take over.” Um. Excuse me? What makes you think, Ms Sylvia Gonzales (oh yes, I’m calling her out), that I’m not an Obama person? I could be a Lesbian Republican for Obama for all you know, lady; you don’t know me.  She ended up having her name drawn anyway and the internal groan? TRUST it was loud.

They finally started lining us up around 9:45. Mind you people are STILL VOTING. You aren’t allowed to actually caucus until the voting is done so all we were allowed to do was sign in. As people finished voting they walked right into our line. What the hell is WRONG WITH YOU?  You see people waiting in a long ass line, you walk to the END OF IT. You don’t just cut into it. I don’t know why the people in the line just let them continually do it, too. Our line did not move for the longest damn time. At some point they called up the line that had already signed in and said they would be helping them first. Oh I know I didn’t just hear that. They were going to make the rest of us that were waiting in the sign in line, wait and let the ones that already signed in, vote, then sign us in and let us vote.  This woman in front of me marched over there and raised some hell. Then they decided that they’d do both at the same time. Banner fucking idea there Sylvia. Banner fucking idea.

Oh point of note, our actual precinct captain did finally show up but BACKED OUT and let her continue to work it. Isn’t that AWESOME? That’s how bad this was. Continuing on. The guy in front of me decides to pass the time by telling me about his back problems and how they are caused by emotional problems. Yeah. Lack of oxygen caused by emotional problems. It’s a diversion that your body throws up because you need to deal with your childhood trauma. I mentioned that I have migraines and he was all OMG you need to read this book it will change your life!!! So I asked him, “If I’ve dealt with my childhood traumas what then?” He told me I must still be in denial. L fucking O L on that one dude. While he’s enlightening me on this, the woman behind me cuts in line. I notice and mention it loudly enough for her husband who is sitting behind us to hear me. She looks over at me and I look at her, to which of course she looks at the floor. You obviously know what you are doing is wrong if you won’t look me in the eye, why do it? We are all tired. We are all in the same long ass line. SHAME ON YOU. I seriously abhor rudeness, almost as much as stupidity. You’re on my list random woman in line, right next to Sylvia G.

As I’m standing there I begin to see that the room is now near empty. We aren’t going to have enough delegates for our HUGE precinct with an empty room, so of course I muse about that fact out loud. My lovely incompetent acting precinct captain gets up and stammers about people needing to stay for delegates because we need one of each: old, young, man, woman, etc. THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS!! GAH STABBY HATE. The guy next to me notices that I voted early and comments how that didn’t help me much with the line. I reply that I had a line when I voted last week. I had a line at the rally. I have a line now. I’m all about the line. The other girl at the table checking id told me I was a good sport. Point for me!

When I finally get up there at 10:30 to sign in Sylvia again whispers to me about the “Obama people” and how they are winning in a very pissed off voice. I say nothing and just fill in my information when I finally get to the square where I get to vote OBAMA, those are the best caps I have written in my life (I know you can scarcely believe it with how much I yell in here). I slide the paper back at her and she responds “oh”. Yeah.

I really wanted to stay so we’d have enough delegates but after all that I still had a half a mile walk to my car in the dark (no street lights) alone and then the drive all the way to mid-town to get Willy. We ate dinner close to midnight last night.

After the shitty ass day I had with the doctor and all the drama with my bitchy ass sister in law, I was really disappointed by last night. I was so excited to be participating in such a major event and to have it be such a giant mess is a huge let down. I really wanted the sprog to be motivated by it and be a part of the process in the future since his father is such a negative influence in that arena but last night really hurt that effort I feel.

Also, I don’t know what it is about me that makes people feel they can confide in me about “them”. They always come at me in hushed tones and make little snide remarks and that group or those people they remark about? It’s always ME. I’m always in the group they are dissing and they never expect it. What up with that?

incompetence: a degreed position

I was supposed to have my allergy test today at 10:15 am. My doctor’s office called yesterday just to confirm and make sure I followed the list of meds I was not to be taking. I think the fact that I can’t say my n’s or m’s illustrates that I am not taking my allergy meds as instructed. The sniffing the snot back up into my head every three seconds like some kind of coke fiend might also be a clue. I guess that phone call spurred the tech to get all fancy and actually read my effing chart and that’s when she discovered a little quirk we like to call asthma.

Nevermind the fact that he’s been my doctor for over 2 years now and that tidbit has been in my chart all along. Nevermind the fact that when I saw him 6 mos ago I was in the throws of bronchitis which he KNEW that I was on flo-vent and my rescue inhaler as part of my treatment. Nevermind the fact that they have had me scheduled for this procedure for well over a month. No one thought that it might be a problem to schedule an ashtmatic for a test that might throw her into an ashtma attack until the DAY BEFORE the damn test. The test that required her to be off all of her meds for TWO FUCKING WEEKS prior to that test. TWO FUCKING WEEKS of cement in the sinuses. TWO FUCKING WEEKS of tossing and turning all night long because I can actually feel it shift as a solid mass in my head when I turn over. TWO FUCKING WEEKS of lumps of SNOT in the back of my throat. TWO FUCKING WEEKS of wanting to claw my damn eyes out every single day. Oh and of course the bonus round 48 HOURS of no headache medication. Who could forget that?

She tells me that it may not be a problem though since it was due to the bronchitis and not a regular thing and if I don’t hear back from her to just come on as planned. So last night I take a shower to wash away anything that may react with the test. I use soap instead of anything with perfume. I don’t use lotion so my skin is flakey and dry. I do everything I am supposed to do but thankfully don’t shave my arms. I say thankfully because one hour, ONE BLOODY HOUR prior to the test, they call to cancel.

For the two weeks I have been suffering, it’s all been with a purpose. It’s all been with a design in mind, a light at the end of the damn tunnel. I just got run over by the train.

She then goes on to tell me that I can have a blood test instead.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME? This whole time I could’ve just had a vial of blood drawn? I never NEEDED to get scratched by 50 needles? I never NEEDED to suffer for TWO FUCKING WEEKS without my medications? I don’t think I understand english anymore. Is this really happening to me? Where the hell am I? Hallelujah. Holy Shit. Where’s the Tylenol?