wanting wednesdays

First, thank you so much for your kindness and support on my personal struggles. I appreciate everyone who has reached out to me and everyone who has just taken the time to read what I am going through, it really means a lot to know I am not alone.

Second, I miss sharing things with y’all, so I’m going to try and be in this space more often. I thought I’d work on bringing back my ode to virtual (or real depending) shopping: Wanting Wednesdays

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Rune Sword Leggings via Kat Von D’s store Wonderland. I am a huge nerd but I really want these for yoga, possibly the Hocus Pocus pair or the Moon Child pair (although with the Moon Child I just hear Chris Cornell in my head on repeat, not necessarily a bad thing).

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Juliette Blouse also via Kat Von D’s store Wonderland. I really want this to wear with a pencil skirt. That collar just kills me.

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China Knuckles also via Kat Von D’s store Wonderland. Look, I’m trying not to just link EVERYTHING I love from her store but COME ON, brass knuckles made from floral china?! One of the suggested uses is NAPKIN RINGS and OMFG I NEED THESE (but in blue since they’d go better with my chairs…or maybe pink for outside and blue for inside? DO WANT).

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Brogamats has yoga mat bags and yoga mats for dudes or chicks who just appreciate a yoga mat bag that looks like a burrito, aka me.

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Miz Mooz Yogi in black I need black wedges. I’m not sure if these are *the* black wedges but I have a few pairs of Miz Mooz already and I love them.

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Cross Back Romper I hate the name of this one but I’d really like a black jumpsuit.

Willy and I watched American Hustle the other night (SO LONG. JUST GET TO THE CON ALREADY FTLOG) and man I have a special place in my heart for 70’s fashion, not cut down to the navel, threat of seeing Amy’s boobs at any second fashion, but other things: giant sunglasses, jumpsuits, a-line long skirts, platforms, flare jeans, fringe, feathers.

it’s been 11 years this august

and at some point, I thought I would stop waking up thinking I was pregnant only to run my hand over my belly and miss the baby that will never be there.

I hate those dreams…the ones that are so real, they leave me with an all day ache I hardly feel able to discuss. The ones that leave tears tugging at the backs of my eyes for a life that is never going to happen…for an acceptance of a situation that is done… IT’S DONE and over…but apparently is never fully going to get here. Will I be a wrinkled old woman, bent and grayed and still wake with these dreams?

My hand feeling for that phantom swollen belly like soldiers with their aching amputated limbs?

I thought I couldn’t bear knowing that I would never have another pregnancy…but what I really can’t bear is an entire life being haunted this way.

wanting wednesdays

This entire summer has been a huge amount of lame, so far. It’s been inordinately hot, we didn’t go out of town in June like we normally do, we haven’t gone anywhere else, I spent three solid weeks with a headache, the house is still undone (molding for the floors), the husband is still going through job security/transition stress with the merger, etc. You can imagine tempers might be getting a tad short around here. I also haven’t been able to make ANYTHING for the shop…or even photograph projects that I did a bit ago and are sitting. See, I have this idea that whatever energy I put into something remains…some sort of residual imprint of me and I don’t want the energy a person gets from something I created to be bad or negative. I want people to only experience a smile when they wear something I made. Maybe that’s silly, but it’s what I believe so I try to practice it.

Anyway, all of that culminated in us not being able to go out of town for the fourth with our problem child (Mayday of course) having an abscess in her side and being on medications and requiring the wound cleaned and drained. None of which we felt right in leaving to someone else to be responsible for, while we took off to see my cousins in Austin again so we stayed home. Willy was really bummed about our lameness for not going anywhere or doing anything (not even going to gigs that were going on over the weekend) and that lead to us buying a pool.

We’ve been hemming and hawing about it anyway but didn’t want to spend more money (hello expensive floors, dental bills, medical bills and vet visits) and yet couldn’t bring ourselves to go to the community pool with all the kid pee and the whistle blowing and noise, a definite stalemate situation. Finding a pool that was a crazy good deal, not made for little people and having a 0% interest offer nudged us closer. Realizing that we could actually SWIM LAPS in our own backyard and that it was the ONLY ONE THEY HAD, pushed us right over the edge.

It was a lot of freaking work for two people (one of whom is allergic to latex) to put together a 10’x20’x52″ pool and it took the better part of two days before we could actually swim in it but oh so much love for this

on the 4th of July.

I swam laps yesterday and intend on swimming again today. My mood is improving slowly but surely and it’s so nice not to feel like I am going to spontaneously combust all the time.

wanting wednesdays

This year marks 18 years I’ve been in Texas and I don’t own a pair of cowboy boots. Now, that’s not to say I’ve never owned a pair, my high school boyfriend was big into country music and I had a very ill-advised country period in my wardrobe. I wore the rocky mountain jeans, lace-up ropers, full western shirt with crazy cut-outs and even had a belt with fancy pants heart shaped buckle (OMG)

Kinda like this one
I think I still have the belt somewhere, I should take a pic of it for you (I should try it on and see if it even comes close to fitting anymore)

Don’t get me wrong, if you are into that sort of dressing, more power to you, but I’m sure that even if you are, what I wore back then (we’re talking early 90’s) isn’t even CLOSE to being stylish now.

So back to the boot thing, with all the Langston giveaways going on in blog land (none of which I have won /sadpanda) I’ve started thinking about wanting a pair of cowboy boots. Y’all know how I love boots.

But which would I ultimately buy? I am leaning in a distressed with pops of turquoise direction. I kinda feel like it doesn’t much matter if my cowboy boots match what I’m wearing and I think that they should look like I grabbed them in some vintage shop in Austin somewhere.

Ariat toffee
Ariat Women’s Adelaide

Ariat legend
Ariat Women’s Legend

Corral boots
Corral Boots Laser Chocolate/Turquoise

and for the SUPER embellished art on your feet vibe
Lane Mexico
Lane Women’s Old Mexico

wanting wednesdays

House project ed.

So we bought floors today. We also bought a new dishwasher. I AM SHITTING BRICKS OVER HERE. I get anxious at major purchases. Like weirdly stressy. Buying a car? I might need a freaking paper bag and will certainly chew a hole on the inside of my cheek.

I guess the issues I was having with the floors is that my taste and the taste of what might be good for resell value, probably won’t match up very well. I love dark floors. DARK floors. I also love exotic woods or bamboo and well, that’s pricey and our house, isn’t. It’s a starter house and we’re already looking at over-upgrading just by re-doing the shit I can’t live with (the bathrooms, the floors HELLO ALLERGENS, the tiling of the kitchen etc) and with our lovely economy we are already upside down in this piece so…

It’s sucky is what I’m saying. Plus we have dogs. Big 75lb + dogs with nails and we have a teenaged boy that likes to do tricks on his old skateboard decks inside my house…so shit needs to hold up, you know?

And our dishwasher (less than 4 ish years old) kicked the bucket recently and we eat at home often to save money and I have two bottomless pits of manliness eating in this house so WAY TOO MANY FREAKING DISHES.

So yeah, we just pulled the trigger on a fairly major dollar amount. My stomach is pretty shredded already from the meds…this isn’t helping matters.



wanting wednesdays

Etsy Treasury
Pretty much any item from this Etsy Treasury that I created last night

wanting wednesdays

This striped skirt
chevron skirt
from Forever 21

This maxi dress
also from Forever 21

Several items at Fossil but they are having issues with their website, unfortunately, but do go there and drool over the pretty pretty things.

And in the seemingly impossible category: a break from allergies so I can get back to work on things for the shop and my poor house.

wanting wednesdays

Have your clicking finger ready? I have some things for you to do. Relatively painless things, I promise.

Are you on twitter? You should be following


Why? Because they are awesome and I might be a bit partial since I am the tweeter (ugh, I know) behind the curtain.

Are you on facebook?

I have a page for Just Expressive please “Like” that page, there are updates, product requests, information on when things have sold and in the future I will be hosting a giveaway out there and by being a fan of that page, you would automatically be entered.

Are you a fan of nice things?

This website is lovely and highly recommended :)

See there? Painless!

I am still fighting bronchitis with a side of allergies and daily headaches (thank you rebound headaches, you are so AWESOME not) but I am forcing myself out of bed today and back to creating. Hopefully the new ideas that are in my head will be made and get listed and I can get back to my routine soon.

wanting wednesdays

Mac n cheese
That is some bangin mac n cheese I made last night for dinner. So bangin that I have posted about it on twitter and FB and now here. With it’s thyme-seasoned homemade oatnut bread crumbs, two cheeses, two milk products and 4 seasonings…..mmmmmmm! But really, the point is not the mac n cheese, the point is the mass destruction my kitchen undergoes when making a multi-pot, multi-step dish like homemade, from scratch mac n cheese. So what I want, for a wanting wednesdays dream, is a kitchen that is somehow bullet proof, or a kitchen staff to just clean up the mess. I want to cook, I enjoy cooking (most days) but the cleaning. UGH. The clean-up I can certainly pass.

Oh and unrelated: a teenager I don’t want to beat would be a pleasant bonus for today, kthnks.

wanting wednesdays

I’m currently seriously coveting one of these clutches from Red Ruby Rose on Etsy. I did my post yesterday on Style Lush about them and I am totally in shopper’s lust!

Click the Style Lush link in the top bar for more info!