Based on this post via Jonniker, I decided to share some of our family’s quirks with you, for lo there are many.

Monday nights are pizza nights. I’m sure some of you are saying but that’s not a quirk, that’s a tradition! Or that’s just a fun thing y’all do! But NO. If I change it up? If we have some other meal Monday night? If we miss HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother) and Pizza? I hear “But MONDAY IS PIZZA NIGHT” and am met with looks of confusion and the world hits a full stop. Monday IS Pizza night.

To sleep I have to have a fan. HAVE TO HAVE A FAN. So I have the Ambiance app on my iPhone for when I am not at home and will sleep with my earphones in my ears in order to have a fan (and not wake my roomies) if it’s just my family? FULL ON SPEAKERS. When my sister and I traveled to Sea World with the kids? SHE BROUGHT A FAN TO THE HOTEL. Yes. We looked like hillbillies carrying a box fan into the freaking OMNI HOTEL and yet? I was so excited for the possibility of a good night’s sleep. It didn’t happen because everyone in the room kept me awake, am lightest sleeper ever.

I also require a “cuddle pillow” and yes we call it that twee of a name. In our queen-sized bed it’s me, my husband and each of us having our own pillows. We are both mainly side sleepers and it’s so much more comfortable to have the pillow to wrap around. We also each have our own sheet and if I had my way? We’d have our own blanket. If I truly had my way we’d have a king-sized sleep number bed, but I digress. My husband is the biggest cover hog that has ever lived. He is also the biggest bed hog that has ever lived and another function of the cuddle pillow is to keep his ass on HIS FUCKING SIDE. My husband’s ritual when he gets into bed makes me nuts. He can’t stand wrinkles in any part of the sheets that touch him so it takes him a good 15 mins (or it just seems that long) while he sorts it all out and if I’m in bed? That time is spent hearing all the sheet cracking and thumping and feeling it pull all over my body or on the really bad days? GETTING ELBOWED IN THE FACE as he works it out over there.

At home? We both sleep naked, be ye warned robbers of America, but at a hotel? PAJAMAS ARE A MUST (aka boxers for the husband) I wish all hotels were the type with duvet comforter situations or just multiple sheets with a blanket sandwiched in between. I get SKEEVED OUT when I see those old fashioned bed covers, you KNOW that shit never gets washed. UGH SO MANY FLUIDS. *shudder* I also rarely am barefoot in hotels unless I am trying to pretend I am not that OCD. When I am at a hotel with family and can let my freak flag fly? Flip flops or slipper socks at all times.

I absolutely can not fall asleep on my back. If I start to? Every part of my body becomes uncomfortable and I have to move. HAVE TO MOVE.

Laundry is sorted into towels, sheets, colors, bleeders (new colors like new jeans and reds that will bleed too bad to be in general population) and lights (whites, tans and pastels). I don’t believe in bleaching laundry unless absolutely necessary. I have no issues with sorting, loading into the washer, loading into the dryer, hanging to dry and heaping the stuff from the dryer into the nearest chair but I HATE FOLDING AND PUTTING AWAY. HATE.

I’m totally fine with a quiet house during the day but if I hear something (a song, the radio in the car, the tv) at some point? Then I have to have noise the rest of the day. Once the silence is broken it must remain so.

I’m sure there are more…but that’s all I can think of for now.

failed experiments and finalizing the scarf swap

As a reminder we have a pool on flicker for y’all to join http://www.flickr.com/groups/scarfswap2012/ where you can easily upload the pics of your new scarves. If you don’t have a flickr account you can always shoot me an e-mail containing your pic or tweet your pic letting me know you’d like me to post it for you there and I’d be happy to do that for you!

Andrea posted about her swap here
Jennifer blogged about her swap here
if anyone else has blogged about it and would like me to share their post, just let me know.

One of my swap buddies received her scarf but I haven’t yet heard from the other and I am trying to pretend that everything is fine and that the post office hasn’t lost any of my packages before.

My stores all have their flip flops out and it has me thinking of our next swap!

To this point there is no feedback on the tutorial I did…so I’m thinking that means y’all didn’t get anything out of it, which is cool. I just am not sure if I should do more? Maybe y’all would get something out of a different one? Or if I should not do them at all? I actually did one yesterday but my phone ran out of storage space toward the end and cut me off, maybe I should take that as a sign. HAHA.

Recently I’ve DESTROYED my kitchen attempting to make my own mayo. I don’t think I can bear to share the whole sorted tale with the populace at large but let’s just say that it could’ve been considered for an episode of that show with Ann B where people CANNOT COOK EVEN TOAST.

And yet because I am a stubborn and an audaciously determined (at times) person, I attempted it again yesterday AND BROKE the mayo so close to finishing it that I almost cried. So homemade mayo is done for me. My husband looked at me last night and asked me how long it would be before I tried it again. Obviously that whole stubborn streak isn’t well hidden.

I mentioned on twitter that mayo would join brownies in the list of things I can’t make and Average Jane suggested her brownie recipe as one that would not fail me. My husband is a true chocoholic and brownie lover and so even though I have failed EVERY OTHER TIME (even with every mix I’ve tried, no joke) I will attempt brownies once more, but not homemade mayo, it’s chemical laden fake mayo from here on out….unless I get to visit Jonna and she takes pity on me or that whole commune thing happens.

speaking my mind

I’d like to use this space to speak about something that has been bothering me, for just a moment, I thought I was going to be able to let it pass by me, but it’s just not going away and I feel as if I might explode.

When did it become acceptable to slam people for being skinny? Why is it any more acceptable to slam me for being a skinny person than it would be to slam someone of ample size? I would never even think to say some of the things that are said in my presence and yet, no one even thinks twice that they might be hurting my feelings by posting shit like this

and following it with statements like

“I like girl with curves and hips and breasts. not some knock kneed ho’s”
“I prefer a woman who’s hips can keep her pants up.”

Or when I suggest to some former co-workers that they should go to Old Navy and buy some of these awesome pants that I just bought on a crazy good sale, I get “Some of us can’t shop in the toddler section” as a reply.

Or when Angelina Joile (insert several other celebs here) walks on stage at The Golden Globes my brother remarks how disgusting she looks because she’s skinny, I’d bet that she and I are pretty close in size.

I am not anorexic and I eat, plenty in fact. Let me say that again, I am not anorexic. I am not bulimic. I don’t diet and although I have my own body issues (who doesn’t?) this is just how I am. This is how I have always been. I wasn’t either of those things in school when I was SKINNIER and had to turn in a freaking food journal to my counselor because they were sure that I was. I have a fast metabolism. I JUST DO. I am not in the gym 24×7 trying to reach some crazy ideal body image. I don’t expect anyone else to be either. But hey, if you love the gym? Good for you! I also don’t think that everyone has to have the same ideal when it comes to what is attractive to them. Everyone is into what they are into and digs whatever they dig, BUT THINK FOR A FREAKING MINUTE before you are shitty about whatever it is that you don’t. You might just be giving someone you care about a complex about their own body.

People can and do get a complex about being “TOO SKINNY” just as they do about being “TOO FAT” when everyone should just be focused on being “RIGHT FOR THEM” whatever you are, fat or thin, I honestly could give a rat’s ass. I want you to be healthy and HAPPY. HEALTHY AND HAPPY FOR YOU, not some societal imposed “norm”. If you are? Then you are beautiful to me.

Scarf swap 2012 admin

So yesterday was the cut off date for everyone that wanted to be entered to let me know and earlier I sent a prelim e-mail making sure I had all the e-mail addresses. If you didn’t get an e-mail from me today please let me know so I can get the issue corrected. Later tonight I’ll send everyone another e-mail indicating your individual match.

So excited!

Update: All match e-mails have been sent! If you didn’t receive one, please let me know.

creating a calendar to help the digi kids get cameras

I already mentioned my sister’s students and how we have instituted a program of using digital photography as a way to help them learn science concepts in the classroom.

The District Science Fair was held on Dec 10th and the kids took home the overall banner as well as four of the six available medals in this category. I couldn’t be more proud of them. Seriously, they are awesome! I want to do whatever I can to help them get even better and to enjoy this even more which would involve having more cameras at their disposal, which of course means the dreaded fundraising. I know people are over fundraising and I know that it’s the time of year that people are tapped out…but it’s also the time of year where people might need a new calendar? Maybe? At any rate, I’ve created a calendar of the photographs that were sent to the District Science Fair and thought I would put the screen grabs up here so y’all could see what it’s going to look like ahead of time. It is a science deal so unfortunately it’s not all flowers and trees and whatnot and there is one bug (but it’s not a spider and there isn’t any snakes or anything) and they worked really hard so… okay here they are.

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The kids (most of them) with their banner and medals on the cover of the calendar

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January was about the drought and mud cracks

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Yes, I put a carnivorous plant on the month of Valentine’s Day.

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March is the only bug, but it’s a FANTASTIC photo. Especially when you consider it was taken with a point and shoot and not any fancy equipment.

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Wee little frog! So cute! Pay no attention to the fact that it’s lurking in a carnivorous plant.

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Gorgeous shot of a bee on a flower, again keep in mind this is a point and shoot.

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Flowers! What seems like a butterfly, it’s actually a moth, but still, pretty!

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A jet breaking the sound barrier, SO PATRIOTIC, right? Happy 4th of July!

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Fantastic shot of the fire and the embers at the same time.

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Love, love the colors in this and the goldfish swimming underneath it all.

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The full moon is perfect for Halloween, right?

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Great capture of not only the water drop but the fall colors as well

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And finally a candle for Christmas

So, those are the top 12 that went to District and we tried to put them together in a way that made sense and highlighted their art/science in the best way possible.

What do y’all think?

I’m here

So I’m not going to bother with the whole “I haven’t died” proclamation this time round, I figure y’all have assumed that already and have just figured that after the death of Fred and all the other crap we’ve been dealing with, I took a little break and you’d be right…to a point.

I also have been working my butt off in the shop adding one to two new items, everyday this week.

I babysat my nephew on Wednesday to relieve Mom so she could get back to the Hospice to sit with her mom who was diagnosed with a very aggressive lung cancer and it seems she’s not going to be with us through Christmas.

Over the weekend we drank away our sorrows at Santacon with hundreds of other folks bedecked in all manner of Christmas themed costumes and Santa wear.

Tomorrow is the District Science Fair and I see how my kids do with their photos. Fingers crossed for us! I really hope they bring home that banner and some individual ribbons, I know it will lift their spirits. I also will hopefully have info on purchasing prints of their photos for anyone interested.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

grim reaper

I posted a few moments ago, on twitter, that we’ve had to make the hard decision to have Fred put down. It’s been a while in coming, obviously, since we’ve been fighting to keep her alive since October. She’s 18 which is pretty old and all that but there’s something even more wrenching about it, to me, given that I have been trying so hard.

I’ve taken wounds


soaking her in the tub, trying to keep her hydrated, and even resorted to making (or buying) baby food as some sort of sustenance because I refused to allow her to starve to death.

It’s just that nothing is doing anything for her. When she soaks in the tub she wants to sleep. She won’t hold up her own weight and oh, y’all, she comes for me to hold her. It makes me cry. Of course the fact that I’m holding her is why I get shredded when she has a spasm or just plain loses her damn mind and it’s all scratching and labored breathing and usually vomiting.

Now, these animals aren’t technically supposed to be able to vomit so I can’t explain how it’s happening but all the sudden her neck is fluttering, she’s freaking out and foamy vomit is everywhere, including her nasal holes which means she’s also choking and then I have to try and save her from choking to death. It’s scary and try as hard as I can for it not to, it freaks me out and I feel so bad for her and there isn’t anything I can do to stop it.

Today she freaked out so violently she threw herself on her back and I had to force her body still while she was scratching me and obviously scared so that I could try and clear some of the vomit from her nose. It’s fucking awful. It really is.

She’s losing weight. I’m fairly certain her kidneys are shutting down and from everything I’ve read she should be dead already…I can’t explain why she isn’t but she’s not and I can’t imagine that this life is a good one anymore. She’s barely mobile (except when she loses her mind) she hardly gets any food…so her life is a heat lamp, some water (when she keeps it down) and really awful soaks.

Tomorrow morning she won’t be here anymore and I hope that’s the right decision…not one that were forced to make because we no longer have the good vet that would know what’s wrong or whatever…I dunno. I freaking hate being the angel of death.

thirteen things before you meet me

1) This is my first Blathering. I’ve been to 1.5 BlogHers but I’m not sure those actually count as the whole BlogHer was way back in ’08 and the .5 was really just me showing up for the Style Lush Happy Hour in NYC last year and spending the rest of my time seeing the city and spending time with Kristie and her fabulous family.

2) I have a 16 year old son. I apparently look very young for my age (maybe it’s the fact that I still breakout. what gives, skin?) so people tend to spend a few beats trying to do the math of how old I might be or how old I was when I had him. He is the product of my first marriage and was born when I was 20 years old which means I am 36. I will be 37 in 3 short months. He also has a very long real name that he refuses to go by but that I love, ask me, I’ll tell you in person even though I don’t share it online.

3) As the mother of a 16 year old my musical tastes are pretty diverse but not so diverse that I like country. I’m sorry. I have a soft spot in my cold heart for like 5 songs that I liked from a very ill-advised country phase with my high school boyfriend, but that’s it.

4) I have a lot of stories…a lot of crazy-ass shit tends to happen in my presence, to me directly or happened as part of my childhood. I dunno why, apparently my freak beacon is always on, apologies if this causes something to happen this weekend.

5) I cuss like a sailor. It just happens. I have cussed around my son his whole life (I know many of you are judging me now, it’s okay). He doesn’t, however, cuss around me. PERIOD. Other than two instances when he was too young to understand what he was saying, one almost slip-up when his GF was really pissing him off and once when his phone inadvertently butt dialed me, it just doesn’t happen. I’ve even told him that I know he’s growing up now and I expect it will happen at some point given my mouth, he says it’s too weird and doesn’t feel right. I feel that I did something right there.

6) I quote movies. Pretty much all the time, even without realizing I am doing it.

7) I hesitate to call myself a SAHM but that’s essentially what I am. I do work for the Etsy shop but other than that, I handle all the house crap, errand crap, pet crap and Sprog crap. This means I don’t really get out much. I’m hoping I’m not going to be hugely socially awkward this weekend but no promises, apologies in advance, instead.

8 ) I have a ridiculous amount of allergies. So many that I refer to myself as a germ. It’s laughable, really.

9) I also have horrible migraines. I am hoping to avoid any this weekend but have already filled my med scrip just in case.

10) I consider myself somewhat introverted so I frequently force myself to do extroverted things. I have danced on a bar in a giant orange foam cowboy hat with a plastic shark in my cleavage while 100% sober. This does not mean I will sing karaoke.

11) I’m a nerd. I’m a geek. I embrace both terms with open arms. I love fantasy. I love sci-fi. I dream of one day going to Dragon Con. I dress in costume every year at Ren Fest. I LOVE the ORIGINAL un-bastardized Star Wars movies. I know which Star Trek movies are the “good” ones. NERD ALERT.

12) I probably have 100 pairs of shoes right now and that’s only because I did a major cull not too long ago. I LOVE shoes. I have no idea how many I will be bringing this weekend but it will probably be too many.

13) Finally, I have no clue what I am wearing this weekend. I haven’t packed one thing. I bought two things but I have a strong suspicion that neither thing will actually make it to Austin this weekend. It’s been pretty stressful around here lately and I am having major issues making any decisions. I go for my hair cut in about 30 minutes and maybe will get some more shopping done today or tomorrow before I need to pack.

Oh bonus info, I recently dyed my hair auburn so if you were judging what I looked like by the vlog, it’s essentially the same just with redder hair.

I have no idea if any of that is even relevant info for people meeting me for the first time. *shrug*

I’m done with summer.

It’s effing hot as hell here, which half the people reading this will offer sympathy as they might too be suffering and the other half will get bitchy and eye rolling about yet another person complaining about the heat…but you know what? IT’S FUCKING HOT. It’s a FACT. It’s also something that is making people VERY UNCOMFORTABLE right now, if you don’t want to hear it, don’t read their words, don’t make them even MORE TESTY by criticizing them for being uncomfortable and sharing that opinion. I’ve tried to be more involved in certain spaces on the internet because that seems to be the only interaction I have with certain friends of mine anymore but lately? All that seems to do is increase my aggravation. Today in particular, my head is throbbing far too much, I am far too worn and yes, FAR TOO HOT, to deal with another stupid head spouting their opinion on how I should feel and where I should or shouldn’t say anything about it. /checkingoutforawhile

and then FaceBook makes you even more thankful

I can tell y’all repeatedly how awesome I think my kid is, how often I just wish that y’all could come hang out at my house with him and get to know him, how I know that you’d love him and that’s all very true, but unless you meet him, you just don’t really know, right? These are all just stories on a computer screen told by an admittedly biased mother, but I’d like to think that the things I share prove his awesomeness because these things don’t happen with every child right? I mean each child has their own thing that makes him/her unique and gives them their own personality but they don’t have his personality and for every time I want to wring his fucking neck when I open a report card, I am in awe of an hour long conversation about girls, dating and being a virgin.

Conversations where he says that in those 80’s romantic comedies, he’s the kid with the newspaper, the coffee, the khaki’s, the dress shoes, the sweater vest and the berets. That he’s too mature for his school and his classmates and that I made him like that. Haha.

We talked about his whole dating history (hahah) and even got into some very private dating details of his friends, it makes me feel good that he feels like he can tell me things and that we have a good enough relationship that topics like these aren’t off limits.

Especially when a child that my son was BFF’s with when he was younger, a child that I loved and protected, a child that spent numerous days hanging at our house, a child that unfortunately had to move, turns up on FB throwing gang signs, drinking, smoking, ENGAGED, in photos with GUNS and saying all sorts of LOVELY things…who has fast tracked his way out of school but isn’t doing anything else with his 16 year old life. That REALLY tends to put things into perspective for you.

Because these conversations and these situations are HARD, even for me, the queen of “we’ve been talking about condoms since he was 10” and there is always that nagging fear in the back of my head that I am going to wind up a grandmother before I am 40…that there will be some moment where he forgets that I am here for him, where I do know that he is going to have sex, even though he’s my baby and it freaks me the fuck out to think of him as a man, to see him with the leg hair and arm hair and visibly see him ogle some girl. Or the fear that it’s all a come on and that he’s not being honest with me, that he’s the Austin Powers of his High School shagging anything that moves (I don’t really think this is the case) I think I might feel better if he had some stable girlfriend that I could get to know, that could be a part of our family…that wasn’t some mystery girl on the other end of a 1001 texts that he sends.

Who knows, it’s uncharted territory but days like today give me hope…

He also lets me do things like this to him