Just Expressive

I’ve talked about the daily walks before and I’ve also posted on my personal and professional FB pages, blogs and Instagram accounts along the way. I finally have the first print from the project up on my wall and it’s a huge poster of 50 Instagram images as a collage.

I used Social Print Studio to print the poster and they have two size options: 20×30 and 20×38 either one avail in a black or white background.

Now, the 20×30 is a common size for framing but I wanted more of my images and wanted them to be shown at a larger size so I went with the larger print and less images. I figured I would just have to figure out something for the framing later (and obviously I did but it took a minute longer than I expected to find something for it)

The app used to make the poster is called Prinstagram and you can use it on your phone, iPad or desktop, wherever you have the images stored.

It was easy to use and quick to order although, I do wish I had control over photo placement in the collage itself instead of it being a random thing. The final product looks great though so that isn’t enough of an annoyance to prevent me from ordering again in the future.

The poster is printed on a thick quality photo paper and I love that it looks like any of my other photos in the house instead of a poster from the store.

I found a “custom” framing option from a local art store Jerry’s Art-a-Rama that allows you to by rail kits so that you can make a frame any size you need for much less than actually getting something custom framed. (ps this is a deep frame so you could use it on large canvas should you have any you need to frame on the cheap)

I got my frame kits on sale and the poster itself was $35 so the whole thing was around $65. I’m so happy with it, I’m thinking about having another one made of all of our trip photos or something similar…of course I’d have actually put those into Instagram first but I don’t think people would mind being inundated with all our old trip photos being run through IG, do you?

There has been a lot of conversation in my corner of the internet about people only showing the “perfect” sides of their lives on the internet. How people clean before taking pictures of their spaces. How they aren’t taking pictures of themselves sans make-up or without their hair done. How they aren’t snapping pics of their kids while they are tantruming over there on the floor. Which…hey, valid points but I’d like to present a different side of that coin, the perpetually sick side.

It gets really fucking old being sick all the time. When you are struggling with daily sinus/migraine/whatever else bullshit you get TIRED of your own life. You get fed up with hearing your own complaints. You feel ANNOYING and PATHETIC and if you are tired of yourself, how in the hell would you expect anyone else to want to be involved in your life? And that’s not even talking about the life you wish you were living. How you wish you were getting to be more active, how you wish you were doing all the things you love to do without being afraid of the pain or the pressure or wanting to crawl into a dark room and hide.

It’s exhausting and in a year or five years when I hopefully don’t feel like this anymore? I DON’T WANT TO REMEMBER IT. I DON’T WANT IT DOCUMENTED. I DON’T WANT THIS LIFE, YOU KNOW? I feel like this life is the lie. This feeling like crap all the time is the facade because this? THIS is not how people live. This is not how I should feel after spending $3000 for surgery, taking meds every day of my life, spraying crap up my nose every day, trying hippie solutions, buying large-scale equipment for my bedroom, etc.

So yes, I will be showing less of these pictures

where my face is so swollen that my top lip is disappearing, trying to put make-up on hurt and I cried in my hotel room trying to pack and get out for the day and more of these

where I went to some crazy replica of Stonehenge with my husband that same day.

or these where I saw my first field of bluebonnets in the 20 years I’ve lived in Tx

I want to remember that I lived my life, regardless of my stupid illnesses and I will have my “perfect” pictures that prove it.

11 years ago I owned a red VW Cabriolet convertible that was rapidly (it was 12 years old when I bought it) falling apart. We had to make the decision to trade it or invest quite a bit of funds into it without knowing where it would end. I loved that car. It was the exact car from the movie “Can’t Buy Me Love” (except red) and every girl my age dreamed of having one in high school. I didn’t get mine until way, WAY, after that, obvs.

Sprog was 7 and decided I should have a PT Cruiser with flames just like his favorite matchbox car and so I went and got one. Not the exact one he wanted (it didn’t come in cobalt blue with orange flames, thankfully) but black with purple was an acceptable compromise.

And now here we are 11 years later with a rapidly falling apart PT Cruiser that is requiring way more money than it’s worth to keep going. I had a list of vehicles. I did my research. I did multiple test drives and yet, I bought a VW.

The night I brought the car home still unsure if I had a “he” or “she”

And of course I had to name the car and called out to the internet for guidance which is what eventually brought me to Morticia (as in Addams) and the nickname Tish

Please to enjoy some more pictures of my new baby

The seats are custom and I love them, you know our family and it’s weird thing with matching.

All the buttons are red at night so everything goes together. You can also see my name right there in between the speedometer and tach since it pairs with my phone via bluetooth.

Tish’s first trip to Target…where I parked way out in BFE and my husband teased me.

The first VW selfie

I absolutely LOVE my car. It’s so great having a car with some fire (hi turbo, I love you), the PT had no pep whatsoever, and yet still good gas mileage. Plus, it’s a standard, which Sprog doesn’t know how to drive so my car is safe from ÜBER JEALOUS teenage clutches at the present time. BONUS.

I’ve had a BFF in Arizona since the third grade, her name is Jamie and since we are both turning (I already turned) 38 this year that means we have known each other 28 years. TWENTY EIGHT YEARS. There are a lot of awesome things I love about her and our life together over the years (because seriously, we have lived A LIFE by now) but one of the things that has always stuck with me is her mom’s closet. Renee, oh Renee, lover of all accessories and always completely accessorized with matching (clip) earrings, necklace and bracelet sets had a closet of wonder. My senior year of high school I got a wild hair that I wanted to go to school in costume for Halloween. You are all shocked. Anyway, I didn’t have access to anything or the funds to buy anything, living on my own at the time, so I went to Jamie’s house and asked for help.

It was FANTASTIC! Renee starting pulling option upon option from her closet and piling them on the bed. It was like the Rachel Zoe of costume moments! I could be Pebbles! I could be a Fighter Pilot! I could be a Hula Girl (complete with coconut bra)! I could be a Clown! I could be a Flapper! I could be Pocahontas!

Ultimately I went with the last option which included wearing Jamie’s fringed white boots from middle school (our feet are vastly different sizes even though we look enough alike that people mistake us for sisters on the regular) and that day I SWORE that I would be just like that someday. I would be able to slap costumes together from the depths of my closet at any given time. It has always been my dream and so far, I have been living it. One year for Halloween I was able to make Sprog a fairly passable Slash from GnR in under ten minutes just from stuff in my closet and one of the guitars in the house. He even wore a pair of my platform stompy boots, a wig I had and a top hat we had from another costume.

This past weekend we attended a Dazed and Confused Quote Along at Alamo Drafthouse.

Perfect opportunity for a last minute costuming.

My initial plan for my outfit included a Jordache shirt, but in reality it was too short for my low-slung flares so I had to swap it for an equally 70′s esque shirt instead.

Final outfit

How can you go wrong with colored eyeshadow, turquoise, braids, a flow-y eyelet embellished top, flares, fringed leather bag (that i am still carrying btw) and platforms? NAILED IT.

Let’s talk about the shoes for a hot second longer okay?

Because, right? They are EVERYTHING. You will be seeing them a crap ton this summer. BANK ON IT.

As much as we are scaling down, de-cluttering and purging, I will ALWAYS have my costume closet. I ALWAYS aspire to be Renee in this small way.

Sunday was St. Pat’s and even though I wasn’t going all out in the cooking dept like years past, I still had to at least make Cottage Pie (it’s only called Shepherd’s Pie if it contains lamb) and since I wanted to eat it too, I made it vegetarian.

Now, Sprog isn’t huge on veg cuisine but he does like Field Roast and will actually eat it on the regular without complaint so obviously that was my go-to for the “meat” portion of the dish. Normally I would use the Apple Sage version and since I thought I had some, I didn’t grab any when I went to Midtown for my weekly hippie shopping run but alas I only had Italian or Mexican. Obvs, I went with the Italian and was slightly concerned what it would do with the end result of the dish, but I am not one to be easily deterred in the kitchen. I already had a plan to add some “smoky” elements to the dish to make it more substantial and “meaty” for the boys, so I figured whatever I did there would just help mask the italian seasonings or at the very least tie them in a bit. I also was going to use a frozen vegetable medley that comes with a parmesan butter which would also help tie things together…in theory.

So let’s talk trickery and fooling the meat eaters, k?

Step 1:
Field Roast. Unwrap three links for this recipe and pulse them in the food processor so that they resemble ground beef when it gets crumbly and browned in a pan. Now brown it up in some olive oil.

Step 2:
Liquid Aminos: I got the kind in a spray bottle so I just sprayed 3 or 4 times as I was browning up the meat to replace any Worcestershire sauce. (you can go more or less depending on your preference)

Step 3:
Guinness: While not vegan (processed with the swim bladders of fish) there isn’t a trace left in the finished product so it depends on your strictness. Definitely adds a lovely richness to the finished product

Step 4:
Smoked Paprika: I LOVE this stuff. Like serious addicted levels of love and it’s fantastic added to the mashed potatoes on top. I also split the potatoes-2 reg and 2 sweet to add some extra veg into Sprog’s horrible teenager diet.

Step 5:
Add some heat: I added cayenne pepper to the “meat” mixture as well as black pepper and it really helps! No bland foods!

After we finished Willy looked at me with a bit of shock on his face when he realized we all ate from the same dish and it wasn’t actually meat. I LOVE THAT.

I’ve always been a person that thrived with routine. I don’t know if it’s the Capricorn in me coming out or what, but somehow in the midst of the artistic chaos that is the rest of me, the floor is always based on some sort of routine. I always wake up the same time every day (unless I’m sick) usually even without aid of an alarm clock. I typically stick with a rotation of foods for breakfasts and lunches and try to take my vast numbers of supplements and medications at the same time and in the same manner. I also have certain days for certain chores which includes shopping days.

Mornings
Wake: 6:30 am (I am currently in sinus hell-worse than normal-so I may or may not get out of bed when I wake up)
Coffee
Nose spray
Dog walk on the bayou
Feed dogs
Make breakfast
-avocado and orange
-berries and almond yogurt
-sweet potato and egg
-smoothie
Take pills
-Allegra
-Vitamin D
-Vitamin B
-Flax Oil
Mid Morning
-Oregano Oil
Lunch
-leftovers from dinner
-whatever else I can rustle up in the kitchen
Take More Pills
-Vitamin D
-Mucinex D (depending on how bad the sinus is)
Afternoon
-Piece of fruit or almonds for snack
Dinner
-cook at home at least 5 days a week (one night vegetarian-everyone eats it)
Bedtime
-Eucalyptus steam for the faceholes
Take More Pills
-Estrogen
-Topamax
-Other hormones

Do y’all have a daily, weekly, monthly routine?

I’m not sure how long ago I committed to walking the dogs every morning but it’s been long enough to make it a solid habit now. So much so that the dogs get antsy the same time every morning and Maddie (the black dog) starts slapping me if I’m not up and getting ready to go “on time”. We had to pause for Maddie’s surgery and her recovery but I went by myself during that time and I thought she would burst from happiness on our first day back out there, they really do love it that much. I’ve even forced Sprog to drag his teenage hide out there by himself and take them when I’ve had other commitments that prevented me from doing it.

We go when it’s cold. We go when it’s crazy windy.

Today thanks to DST was the first time I’ve been out before the sun was actually up

and we almost caught Willy leaving for work. He was turning the corner right as we were about to cross the street and Maddie spotted his car and started to run for him. So cute and slightly dangerous. Thankfully I always walk the girls on the leash

Over the weekend I shot an outdoor wedding and as I currently have a sinus infection, it knocked me down pretty hard but we had plans with friends that evening to see another one of our friends do an acoustic set here before heading on to SXSW shows and I didn’t want to cancel. I’m really glad I went because not only was it a crazy evening for the record books but I also had a couple of people tell me how much they love seeing our morning walk pictures and it really made my night. I didn’t plan on it turning into a “project” but somehow it has morphed into something that I not only look forward to every day but that I get excited about documenting and putting out there into the world. The fact that other people are enjoying it too? It’s just icing on the cake and brings a smile to my face.