Just Expressive

“Real” Housewives of Orange County-
Lynne, your daughters are horribly spoiled, self-centered bitches and you and your husband are responsible for that. Gretchen in all her misguidedness attempted to help and you AND YOUR DAUGHTER both threw her under the damn bus for it and now? Your daughter is escalating in her behavior and throwing tantrums in the mall over something she wants that you won’t give to her, but Gretchen was wrong? WHAT? It’s sure a good thing that you got your other daughter that nose job so she could take her art seriously…because we all know that artists need to have cute noses to be good at their art. *eyeroll* Oh and also, who the hell has a house warming party complete with staff the night before they get served with eviction papers? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?

Gretchen, I love you hon, but seriously? You expected to get financial advice from Vicki without her asking ANY financial questions? Without her asking ANY personal questions? Get real sweets, that is not how the world works. If you want to talk business and finance, those sorts of people are going to want to know where the hell the money is coming from. It’s commonplace! Also, the word beauté makes me think of Jackée from 227 and that is anything but classy. Also, I appreciate the advice that you are trying to give Lynne about her brats, because it’s true, but your boyfriend should be being a father to his kids before you try and give advice to anyone else, you know? Maybe then people might be able to take you more seriously.

Tamra, 1) HAHAHAHAHA way to go getting that tattoo on your finger, was that your way of speeding along the impending divorce? I also loved how you asked on camera about cheating. 2) Is there anyone you WON’T throw under a bus? I can’t believe the speed at which you turned on Vicki last night! That was pretty damn impressive. Also, I love how you agreed with Gretchen when she was trying to talk some damn sense into Lynne because you know she’s right and you have been there with Ryan but because your hate for her is so much more important than trying to help Lynne with her girls? You kept your mouth shut and saved it for the confessional. Also, could you and Simon do anything real? How many times did you two look directly to camera during your little come to jesus meeting? SERIOUSLY? UGH. You both make me ill.

Alexis, Question, if divorce is not an option, how have you and your husband both been married before? In addition, you do not have a job. You have three young kids yes, BUT YOU ALSO HAVE NANNIES. Jesus. How is it taxing on you, when you have constant help? Oh right because you have to work out hours a day and go to the salon constantly in order to keep that hot hunk of man that you landed at the pool of the Marriott in Palm Springs. I know that must be grueling work for you. Most of the rest of the SAHM’s would be fainting if a Nanny appeared at their doorstep and wouldn’t be considering days of working out and tanning “work”, fyi.

Vicki, Yes, we get it, you work. Kudos to you. I mean that sincerely. You and Don bust your asses. Your house isn’t in short sale (WTG Tamra) and you aren’t being evicted (WTG Lynne) and you and Don seem to be getting along much better this year but you are going to work yourself into an early grave if you don’t take a break once in a while. I think you need to get back to your Havasu friends and kick back every once in a while. Learn to breathe woman, take it down a few hundred notches. Don? Way to stand up to Vicki! I like you more and more each season!

Project Runway-
Oh My God. I have no idea how the judges liked that star dress thing that Mila did. I totally agree with another contestant that it looked like a flag, or even moreso, like something made from a boat sail. ICK. Jesus totally needed to go home with that trashy 80’s homage he did! Rhinestone straps? Such a tacky joke! Anne made her lady look like a linebacker. That was totally heinous. I loved the idea of tracing the Campbell’s logo on the chiffon but you couldn’t see it at all on the runway, was it on the belt? Janine is this season’s Johnny. STOP WHINING.

So I know that everyone (or just about everyone, don’t jump my shit for the whole absolutes thing, okay?) has their “list”. The celebrities (or celebrity) they get to schtupp if they were to ever somehow cross paths or whatever. Basically it really means that your spouse doesn’t get annoyed that you salivate over that particular celebrity at every conceivable opportunity (Angelina Joile and Johnny Depp bonus for this house, they are rumored to be doing a movie together) but I have also have a celebrity friend crush.

I think Heidi Klum is the bomb and like she’d be totally cool to be friends with, right? Every time I see her on Ellen, I want to hang out with her. She’s funny and self-deprecating. Which brings up another one, Ellen. Could she be any more awesome? For my celebrity chef friend crush it’d be Nigella Lawson. I want to hug her and then go get something to eat, like immediately. Lastly it’d be Gok from Britain’s “How To Look Good Naked” because he’s just funky enough to keep my interest and he makes all those ladies feel so awesome about themselves. Of course I would also love to be friends with Tim Gunn but I feel I’d be too crass for him. Oh! I’d love to sneak James Lipton off and get him a tattoo but his wife would cut me.

What about y’all? Am I the only nutbag?

“Nougatocity \nü-gat-ä-si-tE\(noun). A heightened yet fleeting state of accomplishment that makes you realize how unbelievably unmotivated you normally are.”

This coming from a snickers bar wrapper (the candy bar that puts you in this unbelievably unmotivated state in the first place).

This is my first blog evah so please go easy on me.

Yesterday was pretty epic in migraine land. After throwing 4 Excedrin Migraine down my gullet and having it not even make a dent, not even knock on the gate, I finally took a Maxalt. I really don’t enjoy taking this drug. I mean it works and all, takes the pain away, but it makes me feel GROSS and adding it on top of the meds already in my system and I was feeling beyond gross by the time the husband came home from work.

He was fabulous about dinner and decided that he could tackle making the bag of pizza rolls that I had picked up earlier in the day for Sprog…

I wandered in the kitchen while they were cooking and inquired if he might need some help. See, my husband only cooks if it means grilling something. He likes to tell me he can cook but then follows that with the phrase “Hamburger Helper” and then he is denied. So I tend to give him a hard time whenever he is in my kitchen. Anyway, I asked about him needing help and he said that he was fine, they were already in the oven and in fact, almost done.

What are you cooking them on?

The cookie sheet

Did you put tinfoil on it first?

No?

Honey, didn’t you see how nasty that thing is?

Well, I wiped it off first! It will be fine, it’s like the grill right, all that stuff is just flavor

*sigh*

So I can hear them sizzling away and I tell him that they are done but he balks about them not being quite crispy enough. I push the issue because I know that the sizzling means that all the filling is starting to burst out of them and soon it’s just going to be a large, gross, hard to clean mess. So he relents and opens the door to remove the tray and that is when I see the most perfectly ordered tray of pizza rolls I have ever seen in my life. My husband, the computer engineer, has lined each and every pizza roll out into a perfect grid.

Oh. My. God.

How completely adorable is that?

Okay.

I think enough time has passed that everyone should have received their scarf, is that true? Has everyone received something? Please respond to this post and let me know if that is the case. I have two pics of folks wearing their new scarves along with my own, does anyone else want to show off their new duds?

Did everyone have fun with this? I really hope so as I’d like to do it again with another item in the future, any suggestions as to what y’all might like to swap?

Thanks for participating!

The other day I read this and it really resonated with me. So much of her life is resonating with me right now it seems (thanks for the head’s up on that Slynnro) and really that makes me a little sad. It makes me sad that my story isn’t more rare, that more people out there have experienced the fucked up shit that I have, that more kids have had the same fucked up excuse for a childhood that I have….or at least close enough to it that we get it, that we get each other.

I know a lot of people out there talk about forgiveness and how in order to be okay with yourself, in order to be truly happy, you have to forgive the bastards that have done these horrible things to you, that have committed these crimes and to them I say, bullshit. I am fine with myself. I am happy in my life and who I am, because I AM NOT A MONSTER. I do not forgive the sins of my father, the sins of my mother. I know that they are sad and pathetic and even evil people. I do not have to forgive them that…or forget that, I never have to, all I have to do is not dwell.

That is truly the key. It’s the dwelling that is the problem. It’s the inability to move on in your own life that is the problem. That is where people get confused, where they think that by forgiving someone you are able to be free and happy but if you easily forgive, you might just as easily forget and then, IMO, you might just as easily commit those same transgressions onto someone else. I would never like to treat my child in the way that I have been treated and of course the major evil things are easy to avoid…in so far as I am not a pedophile, I am not a drunk, I am not an abuser…but it’s the smaller things, the slights, the neglect, jokes at your expense in public (always in public) that might slip in just by having the same bloodline, you know? It’s more than that too though, it’s not just their children that they harmed, it’s their significant others, their friends, their family…everyone in their wake.

People think that they have moved on when they haven’t, that they have wiped their hands of it when they haven’t and those are the people that are truly unhappy. When you are stuck down in it, mired down in the muck of what happened to you? That is why you are unhappy, not because you haven’t forgiven. Figure out how to move past it, figure out a plan, what is going to help you rise above what is going to be enough for you and then do it. For me it was 1) getting away from them 2) never becoming an alcoholic 3) being the best parent I could be and 4) breaking the cycle of abusive relationships. For someone else, it might be doing volunteer work so that some other child might have a better shot at life or hell, even blogging so that someone out there doesn’t feel so alone, it’s all about finding what works for you and sticking with it.

The point is, just because someone says “it has to be this way” doesn’t mean it does, even me. Take everything with a grain of salt.

Salvaged Wood and Steel Shelving from Restoration Hardware $1995

Chrome and Black 6 light Crystal Chandelier from Overstock.com $149.99

Galvanized Metal Party Bucket and Stand from Pottery Barn $24-$59

The insurance finally approved my Topamax…I would be jumping up and down about this if I wasn’t already completely de-toxed from them and in daily pain. I started taking them again last night and now I get the pain + the sick of my body trying to get re-acquainted. FEH I SAY.

We might be attempting camping this weekend depending on the weather (and my health, naturally) and it would be nice to get away. I am really feeling the need for a vacation.

Speaking of…BlogHer, Blathering….are y’all considering either or both?

Sorry for the brief and pointlessness, just letting y’all know I live.

So, meet my new addiction, pulled pork nachos. I had this for dinner at the Burlesque show but was unimpressed; I knew I could make them better. I can’t even begin to tell you how awesome these are, I think this is my most perfect meal: salty, tangy, sweet, creamy and crunchy.

I started with Hillary’s Crock-pot Pulled Porkand tweaked it a bit by adding apple cider vinegar, apple juice and cracked black peppercorns to the cooking liquid.

From there I also tweaked the BBQ sauce by adding dried mustard, ancho chile power and cumin.

Now for the rest:

Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips
Cheese sauce (melted velveeta with milk)
Cole-slaw (pre-packaged shred mix) with dressing made from mayo, sour cream, vinegar, celery seeds, sugar, thyme and black pepper (you could buy a pre-made dressing also)
Green Onions (to taste)
BBQ Baked Beans (Bush’s Baked Honey BBQ)

Layer a bunch of chips on a plate and then drizzle with the cheese sauce. You can add as much or as little as you want, but keep in mind it you put a lot it’s going to make your chips soggy. Now add your beans and pork, making sure to get some on every chip, follow with the cole-slaw. Once you have all that down drizzle with a bit more of the BBQ sauce (optional) and top with green onions.

Hydrangea Cluster Necklace

and

Hydrangea Blossom and Diamond ring

by Patrick Irla Jewelry