Just Expressive

So here are some thoughts that woke me at 6 am one morning during the conference.

They are of course bullet-pointed for her pleasure:

• It’s amazing the random conversations that will spontaneously occur when the majority of a hotel knows that it is there for the same thing. So to all the women I spoke with in hallways, elevators and meeting rooms about things like whatever I happened to be carrying at the time, whether or not I had a jacket (you are going to be cold honey) or “OMG, how scary is that stairwell?”: Thank You. It really helps the nerves to have strangers be so nice.
• Next time I heed the LAYER warnings more closelier and loosen up about the COCKTAIL phrasing. It was EFFING COLD, that weather is TEXAS WINTER. I am so glad I brought my trench because I wore it, A LOT.
• I am still uncouth when it comes to a celebrity sighting.

• I love my roomies, though 4 girls in one room with all their swag + trying to get ready is ultimate CHAOS deathmatch. I spent a lot of time getting dressed in the closet to spare them my commando’d ass.
• I didn’t meet near as many new people as I thought I would.
• I cried A LOT MORE than I thought I would.
• I did things I never thought I would. Namely, recording a piece about what respect means to me, that will be broadcast on a NATIONAL website. HOLY SHIT, Y’ALL. I blame Katie, my partner in crime.
•  I didn’t even crack the debit card except for one small trip to Lush with Kristie for face soap. It was to the point that Willy was checking the bank account and wondering if I was eating. FOR REAL.
• I didn’t take as many pics as I thought (but y’all knew that already) everyone already had their cameras out, I was talking or listening…I’m kind of bummed though. I just hope everyone isn’t going to mind me stealing from them. I want those pics too.
• I didn’t dance on a table or a pole or a bar. I did dance. I hoochied it up a bit. I also dorked it up a bit too. I posed for insanely dorky ass pictures with people I don’t know. I have no idea where they will end up.
• My tramp stamp is on the internet (not in my site people) and it makes me laugh.
• Five star, it’s not just a notebook anymore.
• Lesbian bars are just not the same as Gay Bars. BRING ON THE GAYS.
• Don’t give Bat Shit Crazy the microphone.
• As a follow-up, don’t give it to SOCIALLY CLUELESS either.
• Laughing is good for the soul.
• I missed my husband. A lot a lot. Hugging him when I got off the plane was the BEST THING EVER.
• The elevators in the hotel are EFFING EVIL. I dreaded each and every time of getting in those damn things and would splay myself against the wall at every opportunity. Oh, did I mention, they are GLASS and on the OUTSIDE of the building? Oh and that they fucking ROCKET everywhere they go? I am so glad I never got drunk.
• Some things turned out to be a lot less organized than I expected.
• You know your conference provided a lot of swag when you have to give up your BlogHer bag so that Sarah has a chance in hell of making it home on her train. Poor thing was so loaded down, we didn’t think she was going to make it!
• I am moving to San Francisco. NOT EVEN KIDDING. I am totally in love with the area I stayed in on Sunday night with Jennie after the conference. IN LOVE. Where have you been all my life, I never knew it could be this way between us, IN LOVE.

So I’m back to the real world of chores, dogs and being home alone (the sprog is with his dad right now) and it sucks. I miss having 3 women to talk to every morning about the days events, current feelings or to freak out in the middle of the night while searching out phantom cell phone noises. I only hope that our friendships continue to grow and that the other wonderful women (you hopefully know who you are) will feel the same way too.

Pictures are in flickr, I have a few more to put up there, and I’ll actually post about them tomorrow-ish.

Before going to BlogHer, there was a lot of e-mailing, a lot of discussion and fretting over whether or not it’d be like high school. Seems in previous years a lot of people felt left out and were very unhappy about their experiences and frankly there were those of us that were worried about our own. So was it? Yes, absolutely. I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing, however. At least not the aspect of it I’m about to discuss.

The actual conference itself reminded me so much of freshman orientation. You have your map in hand with a schedule on it. You are pumping with adrenaline and nerves. There are people EVERYWHERE and you have no idea where you are going. You are scared that you are going to be sitting alone in the “lunch room”. Walking into a room of 1,000 people in it, is DAUNTING. You sit through some presentations and sometimes you hope that those people end up being your teachers because they are just so damn funny, personable, seemingly awesome, etc. You hopefully come out of it meeting new people, having a great time and being EXCITED about the next year.

I think that is why I didn’t pull out my camera near as much as I expected. I felt so much like I was back in orientation and I was just observing the goings on. I wanted to pay attention so that I didn’t miss anything. I don’t know that I actually allowed myself to actually feel overwhelmed but I sure as shit felt out of my element. Again, I don’t know that it is a bad thing. I just liken it to being a freshmen, the first year is always that. I know that if I go next year it will feel like old hat for me and I’ll probably be annoying the shit out of people with my camera.

Of course there are bad aspects of high school and of course they were there, but I don’t think that is a reason for anyone not to go. I think you really have to have a good understanding of what you expect to get out of being there before going to something like this and you’ll be fine. Maybe also think about who you were in high school, think about whether or not the core of who you were then has changed that much. Where you sensitive then? Are you still sensitive now? Where you clueless then? Are you clueless now? (those are two of mine btw) (clueless because I STILL DON’T KNOW THE BIG BLOGGERS-oooh shock and awe.) (I didn’t feel near as left out as some because it’s hard to feel left out when you don’t even KNOW it’s going on in the first damn place. Ha!) In high school, I had an apartment and a full time job; I didn’t have time to worry about parties and popularity. At BlogHer, I was enjoying real connections with some fabulous people.

I never was on the hunt for “big bloggers”: I still don’t know who most of them are, don’t read them and couldn’t recognize them if I tried but I was very pleased by the couple that I consider big, that I did meet. There are a lot of lovely inspiring women in this world and how fantastic to have a hobby that puts them all in one place for me.

I’m still in my freshman year of blogging and I think that this experience is going to change the course of how I blog a little bit. I hope to be a better writer. I hope to, at the very least, put a little more thought into what comes out in this little window. Maybe it will prevent the “I don’t have anything to write about” wailing, that I hate to do. Here’s hoping, at least.

I haven’t started my upload yet but here is one of my fave pics from the trip. This one is Kristie’s version. I also took one and so did Katie. These are my roommates on the beach @ the Pacific Ocean.

More updates thoughts and pictures this week.

If you have never seen four women try to pack all the various swag and crap they received into their bags at the same time, you have missed some comedy!

I took pictures of some of the carnage but my USB cable is in Houston.

I woke up this morning with a recap post in my head. No worries…recaps and pictures once I get into town.

Though sadly nowhere near as much as I expected. Apparently when you are busily running your mouth, you aren’t snapping away with your camera.

Miss y’all.

Home tomorrow.

I’m fixin to head to the airport.

Sorry there hasn’t been a whole lot of content around here lately. I have been CONSUMED BY BLOGHER! I haven’t even acknowledged the lovely award from Karen. I promise I will when I get back.

Until then enjoy

Hi, I’m Raven and I’m an over-packer.

I have a problem when it comes to traveling and wanting to be prepared for ANY occasion. For ANY weather. For ANY mood. I do not, as they say, PACK LIGHT. I want to. I have the best intentions. Then I stress and worry and pack everything I own.

So far:

2 clutch purses
2 pairs of jeans
1 pair of pants
4 dresses
4 cardigans
1 light jacket
1 trench
3 t-shirts
2 long sleeved layering tees
2 nicer t’s
1 scarf
1 pair flats
1 pair dress sandals
1 pair wedges

Still to come:
1 hoodie
Work-out wear
Jammies
Possibly knee high boots or black sandals
A hat?
My bathroom stuff and make-up
My curling iron and straightening iron
Presents
A back-pack for carrying on swag on the way home
Various medications I require
Notebooks I bought for BlogHer
Business cards (only one order has shown up as of my typing this list)

In my camera bag:
A book
My camera equipment for the D-SLR and charger
My point n shoot and its charger
My quart sized bag of liquids
Saline solution
My ipod and headphones

My purse:
Notebook thing
Scrip sunglasses
Wallet-y goodness
purse hanger
non-scrip sunglasses
headache meds
gum
Airline headphones

Will it all fit? What will it weigh? Stay tuned!

It barely fit and it is under 40lbs according to the Wii Fit. THANK ZOD. Of course There are a few things not in there. Like I forgot a pair of jeans and my brush. And the work-out wear. I can’t find it.

In the interest of posting something here other than my “OMG WHAT AM I WEARING TO BLOGHER” clothing crisis, which is totally consuming my being, I have decided to talk about tattoos. I completely forgot to mention them on my post from the other day. How I could neglect them like that is beyond me, perhaps the aforementioned CRISIS. Anyway. At the present time I have 3 tattoos; I have 3 more planned. My first tattoo was after my divorce and surviving the year of suck.

The dragon is based on an Amy Brown drawing called the scholar where the dragon is holding a book. I changed it to the moon and added a triskele, to the tip of tail, which is a celtic protection symbol. I knew I wanted it on my stomach since that’s where all my health issues had been and I knew I wanted the moon to be full, symbolic of me being in control of my own power.

This is my second tattoo. I ran onto a guy in a bar and he was covered in tattoos so I asked him about them. Turns out he was a tattoo artist and gave me his card. One night Hobie and I were driving around town with nothing to do, so I jokingly said I could get my next tat and as I looked up, we happened to be driving by that guys tat studio. Sold. I drew it on a piece of paper and 15 minutes later it was on my body. It’s on my left wrist. The Om symbol stands for peace and transcendence of daily walking life.

My tramp stamp was my third tattoo. Again, I met this tattoo artist out and about. This one, I met at my fave dive diner on bourbon street: The Clover Grill. He had a fabulous tattoo of feather quill pens on his forearms which made me approach him. One year later he did this tattoo on my lower (EXTREMELY LOWER) back. I asked for a henna color intentionally and he disagreed with me, but did it grudgingly and I get more compliments on that than anything. The design is a dragonfly with raven’s wings. Combining my nickname with my love of dragonflies.

There is an underlying theme to all my tats: the elements. My tum is earth, my back is air, my wrist is spirit. When I get my next one it will be water, then fire. The final tattoo won’t have anything to do with the theme but will be for the sprog instead.

I love my ink and will show anyone that asks, even the tramp stamp though I have to be careful with that one because it’s so low. If I show you that and you get some ass crack as a part of it, I do apologize.

The husband’s mistress: Gypsy

Getting artsy

Half of my front porch complete with the sweet potato vines and my new bench. The bench was purchased @ 50% off because Target is clearing out patio furniture for school supplies.

Closer view of the bench; it is a glider.

Other half of my front porch with yet another bench on it. This one was a gift from a friend of mine. We have four outdoor areas of seating. Come visit!

The other day I went outside to water my tomato plant and was upset by what I found. It looked like Wills had topped the thing with the weed whacker. Doubly upsetting is that I had just gotten it past the transplant shock and the lack of water shock and we ALMOST HAD FRUIT. Then I found this wicked looking bastard hanging on one of the branches.

He ate the tops off of 10 branches AND the almost fruit. He actually fought with me removing him from the branch he was on. And the red stinger on his ass(?) WHAT IS THAT? *shudder*

Since my BlogHer roomies: Jennie, Kristie, and Katie have all done one of these, I’m going to as well, so y’all will have a complete picture of our room.

Things you should know about me before meeting me @ Blog Her (I figure this will also be helpful to the current influx of lurkers I seem to have, HI LURKERS)

1) When I am nervous, I get diarrhea of the mouth something AWFUL. It’s embarrassing as hell. In case you don’t know this already, I’m nervous. Prepare for the talker. I have been trying to break this cycle so now, I’m either going to gain 45 lbs by stuffing my face the whole time, have people think I’m a snob because I won’t be talking at all, or be unsuccessful and still run at the mouth like crazy.

2) I cuss like a sailor. I think cuss words are wonderfully expressive, so why would I remove them from my vocabulary? I LIKE TO USE MY WORDS. You have all been warned. If the conference feels like a work thing, it might not be so bad, that is one of the only built in filters I seem to have.

3) I am a migraine sufferer. I am on Topamax to prevent them so hopefully I won’t get one while we are there but I may have to run and hide in the dark with a tall cup of coffee and some pills for a while. Just an fyi.

4) On that note, I am DEATHLY ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH. I refer to seafood buffets as a buffet of death. I am going to try to get my epi-pen refilled before the trip but will have benedryl, as a back-up, in case I can’t. Yes, I hate being a medical pain in the ass and try not to make a big deal out of it.

5) I tend to dance around when I am bored…or fidget. SORRY!

6) I love to dance and haven’t been dancing in a long time. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to go dancing. I might hoochie dance a little. I might hoochie dance a lot. Shaking my ass is freeing. Judge me as you will.

7) I get really affectionate when I am drunk. Expect lots of hugs.

8 ) Like Jennie, I am blind as a bat. REALLY. I am mostly practiced at living like I am blind, so hopefully I won’t trip or run into too many things.

9) I have really dry hair, so while I will be showering consistently, I won’t be washing my hair more than once. Maybe not even that since I’ll be washing it on Thursday morning. Don’t panic. It’s really that damn dry. Oh and roomies, I take SUPER quick showers. You can thank me later.

10) I really would like to meet ANYONE. So if you want to meet me, come say hello. Really. I mean that.

11) I’m thin and I don’t eat a whole lot. It’s not a diet and I am not trying to be skinny. It’s the Topamax. It makes me feel full all the time and kills my appetite. Just FYI. I look thinner than I actually am because of my height. (I am nowhere near as tall as Kristabella or EmilyPie though, they are going to tower over me)

12) My name is Jess (Jessica) but calling me Raven is perfectly fine and I will answer to it. I have been Raven as an online persona since 1996, it’s a part of me now. I’m sure there will be another Jess in the group (probably more than one) so Raven might be easier to prevent confusion.

and now you know the final roomate of the Lapetitemommashelikespurpleexpressive room.

My lovely friend Jennie has recently announced that she’s pregnant! HOORAY! Of course, the subject lead to baby names and the best name Gabriel Ethan. A good solid “fake italian” name to go with their VERY ITALIAN last name, if you ask me. Which, MIKE, you SHOULD be asking me because I no longer have any plumbing of my own and the sprog is the only spawn that I shall have walking this earth. (am I pulling at the heartstrings enough there? I’m really trying, Jennie!)

You know what is a really BAD name for a child, arguably the WORST name IMO? Murphy. No one should ever name their child Murphy. Because other than Murphy Brown (which lets face it, that’s not even that much of a saving grace, am I right?) the only other example of that name is Murphy’s Law and how much DOES THAT SUCK? Only someone that HATES their kid would name them Murphy.

Of course, that is the reason for my blogging at this unreasonable hour today. MURPHY’S LAW: YOU FUCKING SUCK AND I HATE YOU. I’ve been up for the better part of 2 hours now with, to put it delicately, tummy issues. Tummy issues that have had me running, back and forth to the bath room so much that I just gave up and got out of bed. Is it something I ate or did I catch the mystery stomach virus the dogs have been passing to and fro for the last couple of weeks? Who knows. What I do know is that I leave for Blog Her on Thursday. I have bought cute shoes! I have bought expensive jeans! I have ordered business cards (which by the way are late, even though I paid for express shipping.)

In addition, I am working on a sinus infection. I blew my nose the other day and wow was that fun. I’m not even going to bother going to the ENT. Wanna know why? The anti-biotic he ALWAYS gives me just got issued a black box warning from the FDA. ISN’T THAT AWESOME? Apparently it’s responsible for tendon tears. The last drug combination he gave me would’ve had the side effects of hip degeneration and tendon tearing. WHAT THE FUCK?? I am probably going to be in tears from the cabin pressure on the plane but it’s better than the alternative.

And now for the whopper of Murphy’s Law at the house right now (as if all that wasn’t enough) I get to worry that we are going to be robbed the whole time I am gone. Wednesday an alarm salesman showed up at my door. This happened about a month ago but it was a different company. We have a brinks alarm on the house and there is a sign in the yard so people come and try to get us to change over to someone else…but there is also a scam involving alarm systems and I am aware of that. Anyway, this guy was creepy as hell AND we have a no soliciting policy in our neighborhood anyway. So I walk outside away from the house so he can’t look in and see what we have. I made sure that Mayday had come to the door with me so she could bark and snarl and generally scare the crap out of the dude first and left her in the doorway for good measure. He starts his spiel by bringing up the name of a neighbor that lives around the corner, WHO I DON’T KNOW, and then goes on to tell me this guy is mad. This guy is mad because Collin here has informed him of the flaw in alarm systems. That thieves could just cut the phone lines running at the back of your house “and then where would you be?” Um. Dude, threatening me is not going to get you ANYWHERE. From there he went on to explain their system has some new cellular bolt on that is INSIDE the house so it’s better and he asked to go inside and look at my boxes to see if they would work with their equipment. To which he swiftly got a no, that’s not happening. He repeated the problem with the phone lines and asked me if I understood. I responded that I did but he wasn’t getting in my house and I wasn’t interested in what he was selling. That he was welcome to discuss it with my husband when he got home from work but I was going back inside.

Dude. He CAME BACK. I was just relaying the story to Wills after picking him up from the park-n-ride (oh the Mustang? the dealership had it for 5 fucking days, people, and they never gave us a loaner or rental car) when the doorbell rang. Wills went outside and asked him for his badge. See, to work in our neighborhood, the HOA has to have issued you a badge. Of course he said it was “in process” but didn’t have one. So Wills was like yeah, I’m not interested, time to go. He did the same thing. Repeated his spiel and questioned our decision to have him go and then kept staring at Wills as he SLOWLY walked away. Wills got so creeped out, he walked inside and immediately called our HOA. He also watched him for a while to see where he was going and what he was doing.

The next night? Someone kicked in our back fence. They broke the lock off, knocked down a post and busted the bottom of one of the pickets. Seems like an awful coincidence, no? Thankfully we have a tree that is pushing up roots right there and it’s incredibly hard to get that gate open, plus the dogs raised all sorts of hell (of course we didn’t know why at the time, I didn’t find it until the morning when they escaped through it) which I’m sure stopped whoever it was. So yeah. I am going OUT OF TOWN and am going to leave my house with crazy ass, possibly fake alarm system guy with a vendetta wandering around out there. That’s not going to stress me out AT ALL. The current plan is to have my sister take me to the airport. The alarm guy knows that I was home in the middle of the day and knows my car so I’m leaving it here. Wills will leave the tv on and at least one of the dogs out in the house so it looks like someone is home. All the doors and windows will OBV be locked and I always have all the blinds drawn so no one can easily see into any of the windows.

I mean, I know it’s just stuff and we have homeowner’s insurance but if we were to be robbed, it’s the sense of safety that would be broken. I’m already feeling  less safe and the only thing that has happened, so far, is a broken fence. I’ve lived here (in this neighborhood) for 10 years and this is the first time I have felt like this.

It’s gossip time again! Woohoo! I bet y’all are pleased as punch about that, right?

First, I’d like to share with you the political wisdom Tim Gunn shared with Time magazine.

“From a fashion viewpoint, Michelle Obama looks so comfortable and relaxed in her style and her fashion, and she exudes that. She has a presence that gives you confidence in her. Cindy McCain looks like someone has twisted her pony tail into a knot and tried to give her a face lift.”

Is it any wonder I love him so?

So Pammykins has checked herself into the Australian Big Brother house, as part of her rampant famewhoring, I mean publicity run for her new show on E. Unfortunately for Pammy, the sponsor of that show happens to be KFC. Can you imagine the suffering? Not the chickens… oh no, I mean poor Pammy! To be living under the oppression of her ARCH NEMESIS, The Colonel. Surely he’s responsible for her running around in hot pants and a blousy top. How is anyone going to take her seriously now? She can’t think under all that fabric.

What does Christie’s face say in that picture? The supermodel known for her smile is surely saying “That’s right, bitch” after a settlement was reached with her DOUCHEBAG, soon to be ex-husband, Peter Cook yesterday. She got the house and the kids and it only cost her $2.1 mill. How bad do you have to be that it’s worth $2.1 mill, to get RID OF YOUR ADULTERING ASS?

Births:
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s daughter: Sunday Rose Kidman Urban
Dirty McConaughey and Camila Alves’ son: Levi Alves McConaughey

Break-ups:
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long
Michael Buble and Emily Blunt
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green? (He denies it)

Marriages:
Olivia Newton John and John Easterling
Ethan Hawke and his kid’s former nanny while married to Uma, Ryan Shawhughes

Mini-me has a sex tape. It’s been leaked and that girl there, is talking about it. A one point she says, “It was strange having sex with someone who couldn’t reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over.” I think we would all be relieved if we never knew this EXISTED. Could you have maybe thought of THAT?? Think of the LITTLE PEOPLE. Oh Wait.

The bastard Lohan seed is seeking a record deal. REALLY? That other Lohan child must be pissed! The whiny one, that has her own reality show and yet will still never be as famous as her temporarily lesbinum sister? Here she is FINALLY getting some face time and now someone else is yanking the rug out from under her. I wonder what kind of song she can write about her father not keeping it in his pants. Oh wait, she doesn’t write her own material…what was I thinking. That’s left to people with TALENT. Whoops.

Here is Madonna and Guy Ritchie going to dinner amid rumors of their impending divorce. See Guy carrying her bag. PROOF! They are OBV still together. What is going on here is much more nefarious. 1) check the freaking knee hose. WHAT IS THAT? You need support hose for your vag? 2) this was just a pre-emptive strike. We now know that Madonna is at the center of A-Rod’s very public divorce mess. He is IN LOVE with Madonna. She is his SOUL MATE and they are “text buddies”. What the hell? Are they in junior high? He TEXTS MADONNA? Does he pass her notes too? But look, Madonna doesn’t love A-Rod. She is clearly in love with her husband. See? He carries her bag. THEY HOLD HANDS. Case closed.